Glimpses of Heaven

All of the arts enrich our lives, but I think only music can give us moments that transcend reality and show us a glimpse of the ethereal. Over the course of more than fourscore years I’ve experienced this a few times, unforgettable moments that made me vividly aware we are more than bones and sinew and even thought.

One such experience was during a performance of Verdi’s Messa da Requiem performed at Lincoln Center by the New York Philharmonic and Westminster College Choir. A section of the Dies Irae, “Tuba mirum spargens sonum” (“The trumpet, scattering a wondrous sound”). Verdi in his brilliance used a multitude of trumpets to depict that “wondrous sound.” In this performance, I have no idea how many trumpets we actually heard, but they were positioned throughout the room, on all sides of and I think even above the audience.

A single trumpet begins on a medium pitch. Sound is layered as more and more trumpets join, the volume and pitch rise to an almost unbearable intensity, timpani is added, and finally full orchestra and chorus break forth in a tidal wave of sound which is overwhelming and incredibly thrilling. At some point during this magnificent music, I felt myself elevated. I literally felt I was floating. I knew I was in a seat in what for me will always be Avery Fischer Hall … but I was also in another place, a place of such awesome and dazzling beauty I could only weep in wonderment.

I thought of that experience when I wrote my second novel, Eli’s Heart, in 2014. I’ve recently been revisiting the book, making a few changes by applying some of the skills I learn as I continue to write. With every art, whether visual, musical, or literary, we never stop learning and growing. American soprano Renée Fleming, one of the world’s most famous opera singers, recently referred to herself as a “work in progress.” I admired her even more on hearing that.

Eli Levin and Kristina Porter meet as young teens. They’re separated for three years, and then find their way back to each other and realize they want to spend their lives together. Music is what brought them into each other’s lives. Eli is a piano prodigy who was born with a serious congenital heart defect, and since this is the 1950s, they honestly don’t know how long his life might be. But however long they may have, they know music will be the heart of their love.

They’re both in college but on campuses some six hundred miles apart. They have a magical weekend together, make plans to marry in a year, and just before they have to go back to their separate lives, Eli plays piano one final time for Krissy. She sits on the piano bench with him as he plays, and they have this moment.

**

     Eli had been born with two things: a damaged heart and a heart filled with music. That was how Krissy saw him now, and how she would always think of him. He played for her, and she closed her eyes and opened herself up to the music he was making.

   Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in G Minor began with repeated thick chords and heavy octave passages with large leaps up and down the keyboard, played rapidly. Eli pushed the tempo slightly; he loved doing that, especially with Rachmaninoff. The prelude had a grandeur and sweep to it, and demanded technical facility and strength. As with much of his music, Rachmaninoff slowed the tempo and introduced a beautiful melody, and the music became completely different, almost ethereal.

    As soon as Eli started the lyrical section, he felt some kind of shift in reality. The light became a soft glow, the air seemed different. He could feel his hands on the keys, he knew Krissy was touching him, but he felt he became a conduit for the music. It flowed through him and around him, opening up time and space. He continued to have a sense of transcendence through most of the section, and then the music gradually returned to the original idea, the sense of being somewhere else left him, and he was again sitting at Krissy’s piano playing Rachmaninoff for her.

     When he finished the piece, he sat quietly for a moment.  He turned to look at Krissy, and he could tell by the look of wonder on her face that she had made the journey with him. He asked softly, “Did you feel that?” Not wanting to speak, she nodded. They sat close together without feeling any need to talk, knowing what they had just experienced was remarkable.

Eli's Heart is available on Amazon in paperback and ebook
https://www.amazon.com/Elis-Heart-Carousel-Trilogy-Book-ebook/dp/B00LE5MNAK

Research: Up Close and Personal

When I first started writing, a friend recommended that I read Anne Lamott’s wonderful book Bird by Bird. Direct and to the point, Lamott gives the first-time writer encouragement and suggestions. One suggestion that impressed me was this:

There are an enormous number of people out there with invaluable information to share with you, and all you have to do is pick up the phone. They love it when you do, just as you love it when people ask if they can pick your brain about something you happen to know a great deal about — or, as in my case, have a number of impassioned opinions on.

Beginning with my second book, Eli’s Heart, I knew I was going to need to pick up the phone Ms. Lamott makes reference to. My principal character was born with a daunting congenital heart disorder, and a prodigious musical talent as a pianist. I know a little about playing piano but certainly not at Eli’s level. And I knew zero about Tetralogy of Fallot, the heart disorder.

I found Ms. Lamott was absolutely correct. It has been my good fortune to have crossed paths with many people of diverse talent during my lifetime. A young man who had performed the leading role in a musical I directed during his high school years, Dr.

Dr. Andrew Rennekamp

Andrew Rennekamp, was a medical researcher at Massachusetts General Hospital when I began Eli’s Heart in 2014, and through him I connected with a cardiologist, Dr. Aarti Asnani, who was generous with her time and expertise to the point of doing research of her own as to how T.O.F. was treated sixty years earlier. 

Dr. Aarti Asnani

And a dear friend who is a remarkable pianist and a great teacher, Scott Besser, talked to me about what it felt like to face the challenges and the emotion of the musical literature Eli performed.

Scott Besser, Chris Souza

From that point on, with each succeeding book I’ve needed to phone at least one person for help with writing what I don’t know. The joy of that is how much I’ve learned and been able to convey through these novels. For Jamie’s Children, my character Laura is a violin prodigy. As much as I love hearing violin, I know very little about what it would be like to play the instrument. Another local musician and friend, the exceptional violinist and teacher Chris Souza, talked to me, read through some passages (just as Scott had with Eli’s Heart), and I began to get into Laura’s head.

Her brother Niall was an even greater challenge. Niall suffers from bipolar disorder and aspires to be a singer-songwriter. Mental disease—and in particular, bipolar disorder—is 

Nate Taylor

Dr. Andrew’s specialty. He was an enormous help, suggesting books and articles, and discussing the disease with me.

 A former voice student, Nate Taylor, who is an aspiring singer-songwriter, walked me through his journey and read my attempts at what it felt to perform great music such as “The Sound of Silence” as well as creating one’s own music.

More recently, writing about two brothers who survive service in Vietnam, only to be faced with the aftermath of emotional and mental stress, required a great deal of study about the war and what our military endured during those years. The two books in “The Cameron Saga,” Memories of Jake and Man with No Yesterdays, cover the war from the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution to the fall of Saigon.

Col. Charles Vincent

After much online research, reading a number of mostly first-person accounts, and watching videos and films, through another former voice student I was put in contact with a remarkable man, Lt. Col. Charles J. Vincent, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, a veteran of Vietnam and also of the Korean War. Again, I presented Col. Chuck with a list of questions he patiently addressed, and he agreed to read sections of both books to give me his suggestions and corrections. He even gave me the scenario for one brother’s final combat mission. I was fortunate enough to meet Chuck and consider him a friend.

For my latest venture, a mystery series set in the city I love, Cincinnati, in the 1960s, I needed assistance with police procedure

Lt. Stephen Kramer

overall and in particular during that era. Through the website for The Greater Cincinnati Police Historical Society and Museum, I connected with retired Lt. Detective Stephen Kramer. When I wrote the first book in 2018, Lt. Kramer was President of the Society; he continues to be active as its Archivist. A writer himself, he understood what I was looking for and he has been kindly available for thus far four books in the “Augusta McKee Mystery Series.” He’s done more than help me with police procedure; he’s become vital in developing the character of Homicide Detective Malcolm Mitchell. It’s not at all unusual for Malcolm’s words to actually have come from an email from Lt. Kramer, with his kind permission.

In my personal experience, I haven’t found writing to be “a lonely profession” at all … not with the contacts, encouragement and support of remarkable people such as these. They’re part of my world.

**
All my books are available on Amazon. You can find links to order 
on my website: www.susanmoorejordan.com
Or on my Amazon author page https://www.amazon.com/Moore-Jordan-Susan/e/B00IBZ731U

The Genius Doctor Who Saved My Voice

One of the things I say often to my voice students is this: “You only have one voice. Use it wisely, use it correctly, and it will last your entire lifetime.” I firmly believe this. So, you might imagine my dismay when I felt, not long after my eightieth birthday, that my voice was beginning to fail me.

Not that at fourscore years I was doing any performing. But a voice teacher needs to be able to demonstrate to her students what she means by “forward placement,” “opening with space,” “creating dynamics with the breath” and similar points. And for several months, I struggled to be able to do this.

For some years I’d been told that I suffered from chronic sinusitis, partly because my symptoms included: post-nasal drip, especially at night, which irritated my throat; coughing at night, sometimes severely; dry, rough throat, especially in the morning. I had this diagnosis from several different specialists. I even had a cat scan of my sinuses as one point, which showed mainly that I have a partially deviated septum.

But what happened to me just over a year ago was different. I was truly having trouble singing at all. Sometimes I produced odd sounds in the lower register—a kind of fluttery sound such as I’d never heard anyone make. I thought carefully about what I was not doing in preparation for lessons. One major item: I wasn’t warming up enough before beginning my lessons. I wasn’t warming my lower register up properly. I began to address that and had some improvement. But something definitely was still not right.

A friend recommended a doctor from the nearby Lehigh Valley, Dr. Aaron Jaworek, an ENT specialist. I went to my first appointment with some trepidation as well as resignation. Despite all my belief to the contrary, my voice was not going to hold up much longer—so I told myself. I expected the absolute worst diagnosis.

Instead, I experienced an awakening. The personable and knowledgeable Dr. Jaworek  (he refers to himself as “the voice guy”) spent a lot of time taking a thorough history. Then he examined me carefully, my sinuses first, and finally he scoped my vocal cords and throat. If you’ve never had that done, all I can say is you need to be able to exercise some control over your gag reflex.

When he finished, he said “I’m ninety percent sure that what you have is laryngopharyngeal reflux. Mucous from your digestive tract is getting into your throat and irritating your vocal cords.” He showed me the swollen cords and clots of mucous, and further commented that one of my cords appeared to be partially paralyzed, which was what caused the odd fluttering sound.

Dr. Jaworek advised me I may have had this condition for a while. He commented that many patients don’t seek medical help for several years, and that while it was treatable it was not curable. Lifestyle changes were indicated. Changes in diet to reduce the gastral irritation. Sleeping with my head elevated. Two different antacids. He also ordered blood work, primarily to eliminate other possible causes, and to see if I had gluten sensitivity.

The gluten test proved positive, moderate to severe sensitivity. On my second appointment he recommended removing gluten completely, and gradually trying some of the other substances he had recommended I avoid, a little at a time to see how I reacted. I learned chocolate is out as were acidic foods. I was able to restore caffeine. Occasional fried food in small amounts. My first visit was in September of 2018. It’s now July 2019, so I’ve been following this regimen for about ten months.

And I can sing again. Really sing, sing along with my students while teaching them songs I love. Sing with a pick-up choir from time to time. Sing along with the car radio to an aria I know. Sing for enjoyment. Sing to learn new pieces to teach my students. I feel as if I’ve been reborn. My voice at this point is about 90% recovered, and I expect by September it will be back where I want it. Of course, at eighty-one it’s not the voice I had even ten years ago. My high notes aren’t coming back, but that’s the result of aging and physiological changes to the female body and was to be expected.

I still have allergy attacks from pollen, but they are manageable. Nothing like they used to be. Since that first visit and the diet and lifestyle changes (sleeping with the head elevated helps keep any reflux down), I have more energy and feel stronger and better than I have in several years. Part of that I’m sure is psychological, but I’m sure part is physical as well, being on a diet that my body likes.

Since being diagnosed I’ve talked with a few friends who have the same condition, follow the same regimen, and are as thrilled as I am to know what’s wrong and be able to address it. I’d never heard of the condition until my diagnosis. Now I tell my students, and my friends, if they are having problems to consider it might not be sinusitis. See a good ENT who will give you the kind of attention I received.

Thank you, Dr. Jaworek. You are indeed my miracle doctor!

Just Call me Eponine

Victor Hugo Wasn’t Around for This One

(First published on 6-9-2016)

In the first part of Eli’s Heart, Eli Levin and Krissy Porter have just reconnected after three years. Through letters and then phone calls they resume a friendship which seemed to be blossoming into something more but was brought to an end by his interfering mother. He’s in college in Westchester County, New York; she’s at a music conservatory in Cincinnati, Ohio. He’s a brilliant pianist, she’s a voice student.

There is a growing drama on Krissy’s campus; one of the school administrators is making a power play which is creating turmoil. He has brought two new faculty members on board for obviously personal reasons, and in order to provide them with stellar performers in their studios, he attempts to raid the studios of established faculty members.

Back in the 1950s, when I was a student at the College-Conservatory of Music in Cincinnati, studio loyalty was fierce and sometimes fanatical. Your applied music teacher was one of the most important people in your life. Often students of a teacher referred to them as “Mama” or “Papa” … my late husband’s excellent voice teacher, Robert Powell, was highly esteemed and was “Papa Powell.” My teacher, Fenton Pugh, was “Pappy” to his students.

I’ve had a private studio of my own since 1979 so have long been on the other side of this. There is a unique bond between a music teacher and her private students unlike that of a classroom teacher. There has to be complete trust. Your teacher is asking you to use your music to share your soul. Music is meant to live, and the finest musicians make that happen and take audiences with them to beautiful places.

So for this man to use coercion and intimidation to lure students away from this person who is vital to what they are attempting to do with their entire lives was a cause for concern, among not only the student body but among the faculty as well. In addition, some faculty were threatened with being replaced as directors of various performing groups.

The story is all there in Eli’s Heart, pretty much as it unfolded. Things came to a head not with an explosion, but with a massive toilet paper prank one night in December, after this had been simmering since September. We awoke the next morning to find nearly every tree on the small campus festooned with toilet paper, and while it was hysterically funny, it woke the board of directors up to the seriousness of the situation. Music students didn’t toilet paper trees in those days. We were far too busy practicing our butts off and dealing with music theory.

A call went out to the student body via faculty members (who were as disgruntled as we were … the school’s reputation was at stake, in their opinion, and I think they were correct) for any student who had specific grievances to speak to the Dean of the school. So Krissy decided to play advocate, and she circulated throughout the small women’s dorm, collecting information, writing it all down. She let the Dean of Men know she had this impromptu document, and was called before the Dean, the Assistant Dean, the Dean of Men, and the very administrator she was hoping to help unseat.

I know exactly how she felt when she walked into the Dean’s office and saw those four people sitting there. Krissy … well, okay, Susan Moore was only a first semester sophomore, and the consequences could have been bad if this went the wrong way and the bad guy won. Fortunately, the troops were rallying in the distance in the form of student body leaders, mostly male graduate students, who surrounded me when I left the office and after I’d been debriefed, they took over. Okay, Eponine, you fired the first salvo, now the real troops have arrived.

What convinced the board that Fred Smith had to go was the very real threat from both students and faculty that if he were not removed, we were prepared to not return to school after Christmas break, and most of the faculty stood with us. I have what I believe was the only piece of publicity our rebellion received in an article in the Cincinnati Enquirer from mid-December, 1956, upper left hand corner of the front page, headlined “Smith Quits, Conservatory Rebellion Ends.”

In part it reads: “Faculty members said they believed the resignation will end the turmoil among both students and teachers who had demanded Mr. Smith’s ouster … (Walter) Schmidt, (president of the board of trustees) confirmed the resignation, but refused further comment on what he called ‘a student rebellion.’ ‘I won’t say another word,’ he said. ‘I’ve had enough trouble.’ … ‘It was a case of Mr. Smith going or there being no more school,’ a faculty member said. ‘The great majority of both students and teachers were ready to quit and go elsewhere.’”

Eli’s Heart includes the student resolution presented to the board of trustees listing our grievances against Mr. Smith (he’s referred to by another name in the book), which states in part “he has impeded educational processes by coercion, intimidation, pitting student against student, faculty against faculty, and deception of the board of directors. The administrator has sought to use his power and office to satiate his appetite for complete control and dominance.”

There’s quite a bit about what actually went on during all this in the book. Krissy was not a rebel by nature, and for her to jump into the fray as she did showed some strength I don’t think she realized she had. She had no problem with the men taking the reins after that first skirmish.

Remember, it was 1956. I have to wonder how something like this would play out in 2016.

 Eli's Heart is available on Amazon,

e-book and paperback. Visit my website

www.susanmoorejordan.com for 

additional information.

Let Music Live

About two weeks ago, I learned The Guardian was looking for essays for a series entitled “How I Fell in Love With …” and on a whim, sent an email to the editor who was running the series. It was fun to write and let her know about my newfound passion, writing books—“music-centric” books, after a full, rich and happy life as a musician. Much to my amazement, she contacted me within a day or so and asked me to write the article. No deadline, roughly eight hundred words, just expand what I’d sent in my slightly breezy email.

Needless to say, I set to work immediately, and was even more amazed when a week or so later I received notice that the article would go on line on Friday, May 24. Friday Sydney time, actually. I still was having a hard time processing this, but late Thursday night (PA time) I saw the article on line. An article I wrote. In The Guardian.

I shared it all over social media, and early the next morning contacted my sons, both of whom live locally, to share my good news.

Instead, I learned of an awful tragedy. My oldest son runs his own business, providing soil treatment for playing fields, mostly golf courses, from parts of the greater New York City area into Connecticut and Long Island. One of his most valued employees, and a good friend to boot, had drowned in a freak fishing accident Thursday evening.Twenty-nine years old, sole provider for his family; two children, ages one and three. He was a very good friend of my younger son who also works for the company. My sons are heartbroken.

It’s one tragedy in the hundreds that strike people every day. The recent severe weather in the U.S. has caused many such valleys in so many lives. It’s often said, “None of us get out of here alive,” and that is a certainty, but the death of a vital young person is difficult for everyone to process. We go through our lives, aware we could be involved in such a tragedy, but certainly not anticipating it. To my mind, a good thing—we can’t live in constant fear of the bad thing that might be lurking around the next corner.

I am grateful beyond words for the music in my life. My personal motto is “Music—the most powerful force in the universe.” Music can help us grieve, can help us heal, can inspire us, can elevate us as nothing else can. After my week of peaks and valleys, I attended a high school choral concert last night and heard a wide variety of music sung by some great young people, who loved what they were doing and performed exceptionally well.

The final selection on the concert was a powerful and deeply moving choral piece by Joseph Martin, “The Awakening,” which speaks of a world without music. How silent, how sad. The final part of the song is based on the composer’s personal experience of emotional healing through his music ("Let music never die in me, forever let my spirit sing.") It ends with a burst of brilliance: “Let music live.”

Music is the constant in my life, as I wish it could be in everyone’s life. It’s our connection to heaven, wherever that may be. It’s a gift from our Creator, whatever we may call him. It helps us survive the valleys and delight in the peaks. It elevates and enhances our existence. It makes life worth living.

Let Music Live.

The Diva and the Detective

The Case of the Toxic Tenor, book three in “The Augusta McKee Mystery Series,” is now available on Amazon. The first two books, The Case of the Slain Soprano and The Case of the Disappearing Director, have some nifty reader reviews.

Readers like my protagonist:

“Professor Augusta McKee, just introduced in Susan Moore Jordan’s mystery The Case of the Slain Soprano, will take her place among the lady detectives you wish you knew in person. She’s a no-nonsense voice teacher in spike heels, tough and tender and smart as all get-out.” - Michaele

“Augusta McGee … is well-drawn for us and we are soon thoroughly intrigued by this well-dressed and extremely well-shod woman in midlife with many roles - professor of music, voice teacher, stage play director, and supportive mentor to faculty and students.” - Catherine

“McKee makes a strong protagonist and I liked her instantly as she asserts herself in defiance of the detective, who seems a bit overwhelmed by her, but later regains his composure sufficiently to woo her.” – Pocopop

About that detective, Malcolm Mitchell. I owe a lot of thanks to some remarkable people who’ve been an immense help in developing this series, first among them retired Cincinnati Police Department Detective Lieutenant Stephen Kramer, who is former president of the Greater Cincinnati Police Historical Society and former long-time director and current archivist of its Museum. When I started writing the series, set in Cincinnati in the mid-1960s, Lt. Kramer was kind of enough to respond to my request for assistance in understanding police procedural matters in that time and place. He also provided considerable insight into the mind of a homicide detective, and some of the words uttered by Malcolm are—with permission—quotes from Lt. Kramer. 

I also have to thank my intrepid editor, Ashleigh Evans, who continues to help me through tricky scenes and thorny issues as I follow this new path of writing a series, attempting to make each book fresh and new while keeping the reader engaged by my protagonists and how they deal with each new challenge. When considering the cover for the first book, Ashleigh suggested incorporating what has become the series’ brand: Augusta’s red stiletto.

It’s quite a thrill to see the talented Taylor Van Kooten’s covers as a trio. What a serendipity to find a photo of the engraving for the original design of Cincinnati’s wonderful Music Hall and learn it was in the public domain! A perfect background for a murder mystery which takes place in the building. Taylor’s artistic rendering of the gazebo in Eden Park is stunning. We’re already thinking about the cover for book number four, which is my current work in progress. 

Reader reviews are vital for an independent author, and if you’ve read and enjoyed any of my books, I’d be grateful for even a brief review on Amazon. This review for The Case of the Disappearing Director by Pocopop was definitely gratifying. With each book I attempt to hone my writing skills, and it seems I may be succeeding!

“Jordan weaves an intricate plot that slowly peels back the layers, reveals her protagonist's depth and nature, while interspersing Jordan's knowledge and obvious love of opera, classical music, and performance theater. The music and the theatrical aspects add depth to the story and characters, and Jordan uses these elements expertly to help tie up the plot and bring it to a satisfying conclusion. Although Disappearing Director is part of a series, the book stands alone, with no need to read the preceding novel in order to understand this one. I felt Jordan reached new levels as a budding novelist in this story.”

(In celebration of the release of third book in the series, Book One, The Case of the Slain Soprano, Kindle edition, is on sale for $0.99 until 8 a.m. May 4. Grab it while you can!)

You can find links to the books on my Amazon author page: 

https://www.amazon.com/Susan-Moore-Jordan/e/B00IBZ731U/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

Or on my website: http://www.susanmoorejordan.com/

Jake's Journey

An Amazon Reader Review for Man with No Yesterdays begins by calling the book “a fascinating read,” then elaborates on the premise: a man who suffers from total retrograde amnesia, recalling only bits and pieces of his early childhood, who comes to believe he will never remember more.

Could it happen? Theoretically, it could. Traumatic brain injury can leave the victim with little or nothing in the way of personal memory, as well as loss of the ability to speak, move, reason. Best case scenario, the patient slowly recovers most if not all of his life and returns to a normal, or very nearly normal, life.

Jake Cameron, my character introduced in Memories of Jake whose story is told in considerably more detail in Man with No Yesterdays, suffers a T.B.I. due to a helicopter crash in Vietnam. Jake quickly regains his ability to function in the world, but nearly all of his personal history has apparently been locked away for the remainder of his life. He doesn’t remember anything about his years as a Green Beret in Vietnam, even after meeting men he served with.

How would a man react to this truly awful dilemma? Jake first tries to regain his memory, spending time at home with his family, looking at photos, listening to their memories of him. And he does have moments of recall from childhood, a few very vivid; but most are snapshots, faded and foggy. As weeks and months pass and very little more is revealed to him, he begins to face the possibility he may never remember the man he was … the warrior he was. So who is he now? 

Throughout the book I strove to reflect on the daunting difficulties our warriors faced in Vietnam, both in country and after returning home. As a novelist, my aim in writing the novel was to address a “what if” situation: what if a young man who had fought valiantly in Vietnam lost all memory of himself and even began to wonder why he had become a warrior? What then? How would he move forward to create some kind of life for himself? And for Jake, this is complicated further when he vividly recalls one childhood memory that rocks him to his core.

I appreciate that this reviewer called the book “a fascinating read.” My hope is that a reader will come away with that sense. It was not an easy book to write, and I challenged myself even further by allowing Jake to speak for himself … writing in the first person.

If you are intrigued, the link to order the book on Amazon is included below, and it’s available in paperback and as a Kindle. If you read and enjoy … I would love to hear from you (my email address is on my website), and reviews are music to us indie authors’ ears!

(originally published November 22, 2017)

“The Cameron Saga,” Memories of Jake and Man with No Yesterdays

covers by Tristan Flanagan

website: www.susanmoorejordan.com

Link to Amazon author page: https://www.amazon.com/Susan-Moore-Jordan/e/B00IBZ731U/