Why I Write About Music

 

In my book Memories of Jake, the first in a series of two about brothers who served in Vietnam and how they managed to survive it, my character Andrew Cameron is an artist. Yet music is vital to his very existence. Andrew listens to music as he paints; it inspires him. Music provides hope, comfort, and healing throughout his life, through whatever challenges he must face. Music is also part of the happiness he experiences.

Music is in every book I write. How could it not be? As a child, my engineer father, whose avocation was playing the trumpet, frequently had recordings playing on the stereo in our home. Mostly classical orchestral music, which he loved and which I came to love as well. Like many young girls, I studied piano and ballet, learning more musical literature, and I eventually discovered opera at the age of 14 by listening to a Saturday Metropolitan Opera broadcast. It was, as I’ve said before, like falling in love, a love that has lasted a lifetime. Music has never failed me.

 I’ve had interesting responses to the music in my books. One reader’s review referred to my work as “music-centric” and I really like that description. Another reader, who hadn’t anticipated that music would permeate the pages, entitled her (one star) Amazon review of Eli’s Heart: “You should be an opera enthusiastic (sic) to really enjoy this.” Well, an honest appraisal from her point of view; the book is certainly full of music.The main characters are two musicians who meet at the age of sixteen.The young man, a piano prodigy,was born with a defective heart. Yet he and his love manage to enjoy a fulfilling life which includes his highly successful career—because of the music that brought them together and filled their lives.

That was my second novel, and I am now at work on novel number 15. The main character in this latest one is Andrew Cameron’s daughter Lindsey, who has wanted to be an opera singer since she was seven. The book begins in 1996, just before she completes her bachelor of music degree. It is definitely “music-centric,” and there is a great deal about the world of opera…among other things. (Maybe I should offer my one-star reviewer a complimentary copy?) Once again, my characters face challenges, and the music in their lives helps them to meet those challenges. So if you’ve read ”The Cameron Saga,” and choose to read And This Shall Be for Music when it’s released, you’ll revisit old friends and follow Lindsey’s path and that of her close friends and the man she comes to love.

 When I write about music, I describe it from the point of view of the listener or performer, or both. This excerpt is from the prologue to Memories of Jake. Andrew’s younger brother Jake has been missing for some years after returning home from Vietnam with retrograde amnesia, choosing to try to find the man he is now rather than struggle to recapture who he once was. Older brother Andrew receives a phone call from a sheriff in North Carolina, which is where Andrew was last seen. Human remains have been found and since Jake’s is an unresolved missing person case, it’s necessary to have them tested. Andrew hears back from the sheriff and puts on a recording to help him deal with this new crisis.

 ***

 Listening to this music always helped him reconnect with all the good in the universe, and when the second movement of Brahms’ Requiem started, Andrew was able to focus on the music and let it wash over him. The repeated timpani beats seemed to him the broken heartbeat of all humanity; the stately chords led into the chorus singing softly:

 Behold, all flesh is as the grass,

And all the glory of man is as the flower of grass.

For lo, the grass withers,

And the flower fades away.

 The orchestra returned, the chords changed and the powerful forward movement of the music culminated in the chorus now bursting forth full force with the repeat of the opening phrase and then dying away softly. But Brahms wasn’t done yet. An a cappella section was like a light playing through the gloom:

 Be patient for the coming of the Lord.

See how the farmer waits patiently

To receive the rain.

 The entire first section was repeated. Then came the part Andrew found so powerful he had to remind himself to breathe. A complete change of mood, the sun bursting forth and completely destroying the darkness:

 But the word of the Lord endures forever …

And sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

 Andrew had been introduced to the Brahms Requiem when he returned to college after his tour of duty in Vietnam. He had felt lost for a time, unable to shake the experiences of the war, no matter how hard he tried to forget them. He needed some way to reconnect with the boy he had been before he left: the boy who loved art and music and beauty and peace. Brahms’ music helped bring him back; it spoke to him of hope and a great promise. Death is not the end, it proclaimed. Not even for his lost brother, no matter what may have happened to him.

***

The remains uncovered in North Carolina, Andrew learns, are not Jake’s. Hope remains alive for his missing brother.

 Writing this book was a wonderful, gripping, emotionally wrenching, yet uplifting journey. It wasn’t easy to write, and it isn’t easy to read. But many readers have found it well worth the journey it took them on. Memories of Jake is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

To order: 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06XXHJ63N/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i3

 

THE CAMERON SAGA

 One brother can’t forget. The other can’t remember.

 Andrew and Jacob Cameron are tied together by a bond more powerful than blood. As young children, they experience a horrific event that tears their family apart. Then just as they complete their high school years, the Vietnam War intensifies. Both young men serve in the military: Andrew in the Marine Corps, Jake as a Green Beret. Each brother is damaged by his service in Vietnam, Jake in a way that will change his life forever.

 A helicopter crash in Vietnam leaves Jake with total amnesia, and the young Green Beret returns home to a family he doesn't know and a life he can't remember. Unable to be the son and brother his family has lost, Jake sets out to learn whatever he can about the man he was. When he uncovers a dark family secret, he decides to protect the people he loves by disappearing.

 Andrew's life is left in shambles. His loving parents, his always supportive wife Mary, even his burgeoning career as an artist seem not to be enough to alleviate the pain of Andrew's frantic question: Where is my brother?

 ***

 The Cameron brothers’ books, Memories of Jake and Man with No Yesterdays, required considerable research. While I didn’t write war scenes, my characters talk about their experiences. I spoke with veterans, read many first-person accounts, read online articles and veterans forums’ entries, and watched films and videos in order to try to understand the impact of service in Vietnam on those who served. Coming back was difficult for many of those who made it home. I was fortunate to find a consultant, a veteran of both Korea and Vietnam, retired Army Lt. Col. Chuck Vincent, whose assistance was invaluable.

For nearly two years I immersed myself in that period in history, and it was an intensely emotional experience. I found on YouTube television coverage of the fall of Saigon and watching it again, all these years later, I had the same visceral experience. But I learned about Operation Frequent Wind … a herculean effort by helicopter pilots to rescue as many South Vietnamese as possible for 48 hours after the city fell. It’s a little-known story about the war, I believe. I have a description as an appendix to Man with No Yesterdays. Our warriors fought with valor.

I’ve received gratifying reviews for both books from Amazon readers. One of my favorites:

Man With No Yesterdays is a relatable story … for veterans and the people who love them. This is a story for those who have returned home, body intact, but a mind in downfall, suffering from crippling mood disorders like PTSD, depression, and anxiety. It is a well-researched and engaging story full of hope, love, forgiveness, and survival. A must-read.

The Kindle edition of both books is currently available at a slightly reduced price, $3.49, and Memories of Jake is free to readers who are members of Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited.

OPERATION FREQUENT WIND

The plan to take the Afghan translators out of Afghanistan to a safe place via an airlift is for me an uneasy echo of what happened at the end of the Vietnam War, when a similar plan was in place to take South Vietnamese who had assisted the U.S. military to safety. Some people may recall a series of unfortunate decisions meant that the planned airlift never happened. I vividly recall watching the fall of Saigon on network television. It was a shock; the United States didn’t lose wars. Not like that.

 All of the remaining American staff were safely rescued. But thousands of South Vietnamese who were dependent on us were on the brink of being abandoned. Of course, I hope we do better this time, but we’ll have to wait and see. However, the Taliban is moving quickly to overrun the country. Here’s hoping history does not repeat itself.

 It wasn’t until decades later when I was researching the fall of Saigon for my book Man with No Yesterdays that I learned of the remarkable effort to rescue as many of our South Vietnamese friends as we possibly could.

 Vietnam was called “the helicopter war” for good reason. This remarkable aircraft ferried our fighting men to battles, extracted them from battlefields, dropped supplies to remote outposts, provided transportation of medical personnel and for the wounded to field hospitals. Many brave men died piloting the crafts. Many door gunners died. Helicopter pilots sometimes performed remarkably heroic feats.

 Thanks to the marvels of the internet, while researching this book I found news coverage from the CBC and so watched exactly what my character Jake Cameron saw. Since I had learned more about the importance of helicopters in the kind of warfare we encountered in Vietnam, seeing those scenes of the aircraft being ditched into the ocean I found even more disturbing and tragic. It became almost an analogy of the war itself: all the valiant fighting and loss of life ─ to what end?

 When searching for a photo to include in an addendum to the book I came across Dr. Bertram Zarins’ remarkable picture of a chopper dying in the South China Sea after ferrying refugees from Saigon to the waiting ships of Task Force 76. There was not room on the ships for the many helicopters that had been pressed into use for the escape of additional South Vietnamese.

 The original plan of an airlift by fixed wing aircraft, which would have rescued many more, was thwarted by the speed of the North Vietnamese Army’s march on Saigon. The use of helicopters, the last resort for attempting evacuation, became Operation Frequent Wind. The Marine helicopter pilots flew back and forth for almost twenty-four hours straight and ended up saving nearly 6,000 South Vietnamese.

 One more example of personal valor by our magnificent military. 

Photo courtesy of Dr. Bertram Zarins

The War That Is Still With Us

During 2016 and 2017, I spent a lot of time in Vietnam. Figuratively, that is; I was researching and writing two novels about the Cameron brothers, Andrew and Jake, who both fought in that conflict. My books Memories of Jake and Man with No Yesterdays are about the impact of Vietnam on their lives and the lives of those they loved.

The Vietnam War became, in a way, my war. Those two years were a dark journey into a stain on our nation’s history that remains to this day. It was a difficult, emotional, soul-searing journey, but at the end I was able to find glimmers of light that sometimes emerged from the darkness.

One of the best things to come from this venture was connecting with the remarkable Vietnam Veterans in our local chapter of the Vietnam Veterans of America. I am honored and humbled to now call some of these heroes “friend.” Connecting with retired U.S. Army Lt. Col. Charles Vincent was another. Col. Chuck was generous enough to act as my military consultant for the books, and again, I am honored to now consider him a friend.

Near the end of my research I stumbled upon a military operation which I had not previously been aware of, and wonder how many other Americans are not as well. A recent exchange with a new reader who has enjoyed my current mystery series books reinforced the emotion I experienced when learning about Operation Frequent Wind.

My character Jake Cameron is injured in a helicopter crash, and I wanted a photo of such a crash for the back cover of Man with No Yesterdays. An internet search led me to the stunning photo, and a further search made it possible for me to contact the photographer. Dr. Bertram Zarins, now an orthopedic surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, took the photo during the fall of Saigon. He generously permitted me to use the picture.

The short version is that Task Force 76 ships waited in the South China Sea to accept evacuees who were ferried by helicopter from various points in Saigon. Americans and South Vietnamese were rescued while the North Vietnamese Army was marching relentlessly toward the city. Sadly, many South Vietnamese did not make it out. But the valiant efforts of the helicopter pilots … who flew continuously for some twenty-four hours …resulted in some seven thousand lives being saved.

Devi Allen responded to a post on my Facebook author page about Man with No Yesterdays with this comment:

“Looking forward to your Vietnam story. Since I was a protester at Berkeley when hubby had already served his time, we don't discuss it. But we did both find this display at the USS Midway Museum in San Diego touching. A note from a Vietnamese pilot, tossed onto the deck of the Midway as the evacuation took place. Written on one of the fabric maps they used for navigation. There is an accompanying audio-video of the event spoken by an officer on deck. Spoiling the plot, this pilot subsequently landed on deck, and his pregnant wife and 4 or 5 children spilled out of the one-seater plane onto the flight deck. Gave me chills.”

Reading this gave me chills as well. There were too many helicopters for the ships to handle, and a number had to be abandoned. Which is what resulted in Dr. Zarins dramatic photo … a chopper being ditched into the South China Sea. Others were flown onto the ships and pushed off, which is what I believe happened in Devi’s story … a South Korean pilot saving his family.

OPERATION FREQUENT WIND. A fitting finale to our helicopter war. A light in the darkness.

Man with No Yesterdays is available on Amazon, Kindle and paperback. See my website for additional information and links to all my books. www.susanmoorejordan.com

NOTE: there are a number of gripping videos on YouTube showing this operation, as well as excellent information on line. 

Thoughts on the Vietnam War

Introduction for National Vietnam Veterans Day Observance, March 24, 2019

“Vietnam changed every person who was there.” A comment made by my character Andrew Cameron in my book Memories of Jake.

Some three years ago I embarked on a journey of research and writing books about two brothers whose lives were turned upside down by their involvement in the Vietnam War. I was a young wife and mother during that period, and while I was, of course, aware of the war, I had no idea how much I didn’t know or understand about the conflict. Research included reading many first-person accounts, watching videos and films, visiting veterans’ forums online, and eventually finding a voice, Lt. Col. Charles Vincent of the Army Corps of Engineers who had fought with the Green Berets in Vietnam and who became my military consultant. The result was these two books, Memories of Jake and Man with No Yesterdays, the first published in March of 2017 and the second the following November.

While writing, I began to have some small understanding of what our valiant warriors endured both while in country and after returning home. It was a deeply emotional journey and has changed my life forever. Over the course of the books, I covered nearly every aspect of the war, from the Gulf of Tonkin resolution to the fall of Saigon and beyond. Andrew, the older brother, visits the Wall in Memories of Jake. In Man with No Yesterdays, Jake, the younger brother, spends time in the Cascade Mountains in Washington State with his brothers-in-arms. This is my dedication for Man with No Yesterdays: “To Jake and to all who fought in Vietnam, with the hope that never again will we blame the warriors for the war.”

I followed the bill that was introduced in Congress to declare March 29 National Vietnam Veterans Day which was signed into law on March 28, 2017. Last year, the Pocono Cinema worked with me to honor our local Vietnam Veterans. Staged readings from both these books were presented along with music from the era. Courtney Tolino and I agreed this observance should become an annual event. This year, I asked the Vietnam Veterans of America, Pocono Chapter 678, if any of them had personal memoirs we could present in this same format … actors reading the words they had written. Three men—Tom Doyle, Glen Lippincott, and Jim Sargent—submitted the writings you will hear tonight.

Two books I read when researching have resonated with me ever since, and we’ve included two selections from Home Before Morning by Army nurse Joyce Van Devanter. Women also served in Vietnam, and some died there. The other is a book I believe should be required reading in every high school in this country, Philip Caputo’s book A Rumor of War. The author shows us a clear-eyed, heart-wrenching, totally honest look at the things war can do to a man. And the things a man can do while he is at war. Nearly thirty years later, Caputo considered his time in Vietnam in retrospect and his thoughts included this:

“Vietnam was the epicenter of a cultural, social, and political quake that sundered us like no other event since the Civil War. […] Our self-image as a progressive, virtuous, and triumphant people exempt from the burdens and tragedies of history came apart in Vietnam, and we had no way to integrate the war or its consequences into our collective and individual consciousness. […]

“At the very beginnings of Western civilization, it was the role of the battle singers, who sang their verses around the warriors’ glittering fires, to wring order and meaning out of the chaotic clash of arms, to keep the tribe human by providing it with models of virtuous behavior—heroes who reflected the tribe’s loftiest aspirations—and with examples of impious behavior that reflected the worst failings.

“Vietnam was fought with M-16s and helicopters instead of swords and steeds, but the battle singer’s task was the same. The nature of the war made it exceptionally difficult: how to find meaning in such a meaningless conflict? How to make sense out of a succession of random fire-fights that achieved nothing? And what heroes could be found in a war so murky and savage? How to explain our failings? Yet the task was necessary. […]

“The politicians, commentators, analysts, and historians still cannot agree on the war’s causes, much less on its larger significance. So, it is left to the artist to make sense of it, or at the very least to begin to make sense of it, shaping enduring art out of the shapeless muck of a terrible experience.”

  

And that is why we are here tonight, to try to make some sense of the Vietnam war through words and music, to share thoughts and memories and pay tribute to the fallen and honor their sacrifice, to celebrate the heroes who are still with us. Tonight, we are the “battle singers.”

**

 Excerpts from A Rumor of War by Philip Caputo, First Owl Books Edition 1996

covers by Tristan Flanagan

Chuck Vincent: The Warrior Who Showed Me the Vietnam War

One of the most vital tools in an author’s toolbox is networking. It helps us learn about topics we know little or nothing about, and the people we connect with take us places we could otherwise never go.

When writing Memories of Jake, I came to a point where all my research made me realize I needed a personal voice to help me better understand the Vietnam War; a “guide” to show me more about the military and how it worked. I had not intended to write a book about the conflict, yet when I met my characters, Andrew and Jake Cameron, it was inevitable they would both fight in that conflict.

The Vietnam War. Enormous, sprawling, confusing, conflicting. A war that wasn’t a war … at least it was never declared a war. A war this country is still struggling with. A war in which our warriors fought valiantly, in which far too many young American lives were lost; and those who came home returned to a country ripped apart by the war no one seemed to understand.

It was my great good fortune to come into contact by virtue of a mutual friend with retired U.S. Army Lt. Col. Charles J. Vincent, Corps of Engineers, who served a tour in Vietnam with Special Forces. Col. Vincent had previously been a member of the Marine Corps and served in the Korean War as well. So it might be said he was a warrior twice over.

Col. Chuck addressed my dozens of questions patiently and thoroughly, contacting other veterans when he felt it would be helpful. He also read through the passages on the war making corrections and suggestions. And when I was writing Man with No Yesterdays he repeated this process, but additionally gave me a scenario for Jake’s last mission in which he suffered the traumatic brain injury which changed his life so drastically.

Col. Vincent’s life would make a good book in itself, and I would hope he’s writing his memoirs. Originally from New Jersey, he attended and eventually graduated from Drexel University in Philadelphia. That’s where the networking I spoke of took place; a former voice student is now a vice-president at Drexel, and when I mentioned to her mother I needed a de facto “military consultant” for Memories of Jake, she contacted her daughter who put me in touch with Col. Vincent. He now lives in Mississippi but frequently visits Philadelphia for various events at Drexel, and I had the chance to speak with this often-decorated warrior personally while writing my first Cameron brothers’ book.

In a recent interview I commented on the value of reaching out to people in exactly this way … finding an expert who is generously willing to share their expertise with an author. My comment was that each book I’ve written has been a journey, and I’ve had some exceptional tour guides on these journeys. The two books about the Cameron brothers were a long and difficult journey, and I am forever grateful to Col. Chuck for being my guide.

On March 29, National Vietnam Veterans Day will be observed for only the second time, since the bill declaring the day was signed on the eve of the holiday in 2017. I am honored to be part of a local observance of this day being held on March 25, a multi-arts celebration—art, literature, and music—at the Pocono Cinema and Cultural Center in East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania. At our observation we are honoring all our military veterans. An art exhibit by six local veterans will be on display. Music, including songs from the Vietnam War Era, will be performed. Staged readings from my Cameron brothers’ books will be part of the program. No admission charge. My heartfelt thanks to all who served and continue to serve this nation.

Memories of Jake – Reader Response

Two brothers, Andrew and Jake Cameron, both serve in the Vietnam War … Andrew as a door gunner for the Marines, Jake as a Green Beret. Both return home … but only one returns as himself. Jake is injured in a helicopter crash and suffers total retrograde amnesia. Older brother Andrew can’t accept Jake’s memory loss. From childhood, he has been his brother’s supporter and protector.

Memories of Jake has received some strong reviews since its release in late March. Available on Amazon, paperback and Kindle.

A few review excerpts:

"The story overall is very easy to read. It takes you on a journey from tragedy to growth, back to hardship and beyond. The brothers pull you in - their bond is strong, and the challenges they face together and apart ensure it stays a gripping tale." Self Publisher's Showcase, April 21, 2017

“Susan Moore Jordan’s gentle prose serves as the perfect backdrop to the horror of the Vietnam War. She also shows how not everything damaging in life needs to be permanent. People are resilient and sometimes overcoming the past is a matter of will. The other aspect of this story I really enjoyed was Cameron Family’s reliance on music and art as a means to find themselves. Andrew’s painting saved him. It was his therapy and his joy. Beyond that, what kept me reading was the love shared between these two brothers. I had to know how everything turned out for them and clung to every page until the last, waiting for that moment when I could breathe out and put the book down with a feeling of contentment and relief.”

“Jake is injured in an attack that leaves him with post-traumatic amnesia, and has to rebuild his life again as he struggles to figure out who he is. Some of the scenes are powerful and heart-wrenching, like when Andrew deals with his boyhood memories and his experiences in Vietnam. Jordan's descriptions and dialog make you a part of the story. It's hard to put down.”

“MEMORIES OF JAKE is not just a war story, not just a story of pain and rebirth, but a story of love, family, friendship and the unstoppable ability of the human capacity to conquer that which sets out to destroy them. It is a story of hope.”

“The characters are all believable, each with his or her own voice. Art and music and how they help keep folks alive by keeping life worth living seep throughout the book, as with all of the author's work. (This time the visual arts play a large role as well as music.) Once Jake comes home from Vietnam, to a home and family he only remembers in shadows and fog, this book is tough to put down. Enjoy.”

https://www.amazon.com/MEMORIES-JAKE-Susan-Moore-Jordan-ebook/dp/B06XXHJ63N

Or visit my website: www.susanmoorejordan.com

Jake's Journey

An Amazon reader review for Man with No Yesterdays begins by calling the book “a fascinating read,” then elaborates on the premise: a man who suffers from total retrograde amnesia, recalling only bits and pieces of his early childhood, who comes to believe he will never remember more.

Could it happen? Theoretically, it could. Traumatic brain injury can leave the victim with little or nothing in the way of personal memory, as well as loss of the ability to speak, move, reason. Best case scenario, the patient slowly recovers most if not all of his life and returns to a normal, or very nearly normal, life.

Jake Cameron, my character introduced in Memories of Jake whose story is told in considerably more detail in Man with No Yesterdays, suffers a T.B.I. due to a helicopter crash in Vietnam. Jake quickly regains his ability to function in the world, but nearly all of his personal history has apparently been locked away for the remainder of his life. He doesn’t remember anything about his years as a Green Beret in Vietnam, even after meeting men he served with.

How would a man react to this truly awful dilemma? Jake first tries to regain his memory, spending time at home with his family, looking at photos, listening to their memories of him. And he does have moments of recall from childhood, a few very vivid; but most are snapshots, faded and foggy. As weeks and months pass and very little more is revealed to him, he begins to face the possibility he may never remember the man he was … the warrior he was. So who is he now? 

Throughout the book I strove to reflect on the daunting difficulties our warriors faced in Vietnam, both in country and after returning home. As a novelist, my aim in writing the novel was to address a “what if” situation: what if a young man who had fought valiantly in Vietnam lost all memory of himself and even began to wonder why he had become a warrior? What then? How would he move forward to create some kind of life for himself? And for Jake, this is complicated further when he vividly recalls one childhood memory that rocks him to his core.

I appreciate that this reviewer called the book “a fascinating read.” My hope is that a reader will come away with that sense. It was not an easy book to write, and I challenged myself even further by allowing Jake to speak for himself … writing in the first person. My pre-publication “beta” readers were enthusiastic about the novel. Time will tell whether all readers will share that enthusiasm!

If you are intrigued, the link to order the book on Amazon is included below, and it’s available in paperback and as a Kindle. If you read and enjoy … I would love to hear from you (my email address is on my website), and reviews are music to us indie authors’ ears!

Portrait by Ashleigh Evans

Cover Design by Tristan Flanagan

website: www.susanmoorejordan.com

Link to Amazon book page: https://www.amazon.com/Man-Yesterdays-Susan-Moore-Jordan/dp/1977701809/

Let Us Never Again Blame the Warriors for the War

Watching the Ken Burns documentary on the Vietnam War over the past two weeks wasn't easy, but it was worth every minute. It took those eighteen hours to encompass all the many aspects of a complicated situation that eventually covered thirty years of this nation's history ... and was surely one of its darkest chapters.

Burns didn't hold back, and I learned a great deal about what motivated our participation in what was basically a civil war in a small country in Southeast Asia ... a war we should never have been a part of, something I think we all agree on, even though the divisions that took place during the war still resonate in the United States.

I'm still processing what I saw, and the strong emotions I felt as a result. I was a young mother during most of the period we were actively engaged in combat, and while I was aware of the war it wasn't central to my life. Perhaps it should have been. My heart aches for every person who served and whose lives were changed forever for many reasons.

My emotions ranged from anger to dismay to sorrow. Anger at the lies we were told, at the arrogance of some politicians and military leaders. Dismay at our abandonment of the South Vietnamese. Sorrow for all the young lives lost, and for what? Sorrow for the warriors - wounded in body and spirit - who were treated so despicably on returning home.

And also, gratitude and hope. Gratitude for their fortitude, for the valiant manner in which so many fought. Gratitude for the vets who built the memorial Wall; for those who have shared their stories. And hope. Hope that despite all indications to the contrary, we will NOT repeat those mistakes. Hope that I saw in the lives of some of the veterans who have reached halfway around the world to embrace their former enemies and in that way found peace. Hope that never again will we blame the warriors for the war.

***

My novels about two of those warriors, Andrew and Jacob Cameron. Historical fiction.

Memories of Jake, available in paperback and e-book on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Memories-Jake-Susan-Moore-Jordan/dp/1544274203/

Man with No Yesterdays, to be released 11/11/2017

Used by permission of Dr. Bertram Zarins

MEMORIES OF JAKE – Thoughts after Veterans’ Day

Two brothers, traumatized as children by seeing their father murder their mother’s parents. Then as young adults, both serve in the Vietnam War.

When I began work on Memories of Jake, my intention wasn’t to write a book about the war. But what I’ve learned has become an important part of the book: it wasn’t possible to separate Andrew’s and Jake’s life experiences from the impact of their time in Vietnam.

I have a family member who served as a Marine, and it’s taken him decades to deal with what the war and its aftermath meant in his life. And I have come to believe he is a typical veteran of the Vietnam War. This nation, it seems to me, has still not really reached an understanding of what that war did to us. It divided the country as nothing has since the Civil War.

So writing about Andrew, the artist, and Jacob, the warrior, meant I needed to find out as much as I could about how their time in Vietnam changed each of their lives … and find a way for them to deal with that. Hundreds of hours of research, many first person accounts (books and articles), videos, films. We Were Soldiers is very powerful, and from what veterans tell me, very honest … the first time the U.S. military really understood what they were up against.

Many members of the military found themselves conflicted by the experience. While fighting hard while in country ─ not just against the enemy, but against the climate and the terrain ─ they did everything they could to follow orders and to function as warriors. As the years passed, these warriors began to question why they were there and what they were fighting for.

Some veterans returned home to be actively opposed to the war. They had seen too many young men die. They were against this country continuing to send more recruits into what began to be seen as an “unwinnable” conflict. Many draft dodgers fled to Canada, where they found refuge. Some returning veterans could not adjust to civilian life and made their way into wilderness areas of this country, avoiding civilian life sometimes for decades.

Recently I had the opportunity to sit down with a remarkable soldier, a veteran of both the Korean and Vietnam Wars. Lt. Col. Charles Vincent (U.S. Army, retired) was kind enough to agree to read those portions of the book in which the war is important and offer me suggestions and corrections. Yet after all these years and a full life as a civilian, he admitted reading the passages from my book meant loss of sleep … Vietnam is still with him.

Vietnam is now a part of me as well. While I have come to believe the war was a mistake made by administrations dating back to Harry Truman, I grieve for the nearly sixty thousand lives lost, and I salute the veterans with utmost admiration. We need a strong military to defend this country. I fervently pray for our troops currently deployed. 

War is hell. Mankind can’t seem to stay out of it. Let’s all honor our veterans and pray for peace … constantly.

The War That Still Haunts Us

My first novel, How I Grew Up, is a roman à clef ─ the fictitious re-telling of an actual event. In real life, in January of 1954 a man named Bob Duke entered the home of his wife’s parents and shot and killed three people. His wife’s mother died instantly, her father died sometime during the overnight hours, and their other son-in-law lingered for some three months. My book is about how my close friend Anita Barker auditioned for our high school musical less than a week after burying her parents, won the leading role of Julie Jordan in Carousel, and performed brilliantly.

Three other books grew from this story, and I have gone back to that event again as I am at work on a two-book series. Anita’s two young nephews, Bob Duke’s sons, were in the house at the time their father murdered their grandparents and uncle. With every book I write, I strive to improve my craft, and occasionally I will re-read one of my novels with the thought of perhaps revising it and smoothing out the way I’ve told the story. So far I haven’t done that. I’d prefer to continue to write new stories.

I re-read How I Grew Up with the idea of possibly doing some rewriting, but decided against it. It’s written in first person, and I tried to give Anita her own voice. But I was struck by a thought: what if those little boys actually witnessed the shooting? I don’t make clear in How I Grew Up whether they did or not. I’ve learned that in real life, those two boys grew up to serve in Vietnam, one as a Marine, the other in the Army. Their mother remarried and had apparently a successful second marriage.

I’ve completed the first draft of a novel, Memories of Jake, about these brothers. While the conflict in Vietnam was taking place, I was a young mother, busy with an elementary school daughter, and sons born in 1965 and 1969 … the height of the war. I knew it was happening, of course; I had a brother-in-law serving in the Marines. I remember Johnson’s announcement that he was not running for re-election, the riots at the Democratic Convention, My Lai, the fall of Saigon, and the Pentagon Papers. News stories.

But since I’ve decided to tackle this book and realized from what little I had read that being in Vietnam would have become integrated into my characters Andrew’s and Jacob’s consciousness, I realized I needed to learn more. So along with numerous on-line articles, some videos and films, over the past several months I’ve read a number of books about the war: some novels, most first person accounts. I just completed Philip Caputo’s A Rumor of War, and I’m still dealing with this remarkable piece of literature and how deeply it affected me.

More than any of the other books I’ve read, this one put me right into the country, into the battles and frustrations and agony and yes, the excitement, Caputo experienced during his tour of duty. I understand now why I had often seen this book recommended as the definitive work on the warrior’s experience in Vietnam. It took the author ten years to write, partly because of the overwhelming impact from his tour of duty. He shows us a clear-eyed, heart-wrenching, totally honest look at the things war can do to a man. And the things a man can do while he is at war. I salute his courage, I admire his skill, and I thank him for his service.

And I wonder: how would I have reacted if subjected to what these military men had to deal with? My Native American ancestors have a saying my mother made part of who I am: do not judge another until you have walked a mile in his moccasins. Philip Caputo took me much farther than a mile into the darkness that was Vietnam.

One thing that I saw while doing online searches: we as a nation have still not resolved our feelings about Vietnam. In May of this year, more than forty years after the fall of Saigon, a bipartisan bill was presented to Congress to set aside a day to recognize our Vietnam Veterans. Co-sponsor of the bill was my senator from Pennsylvania, Pat Toomey, and I sent him a message thanking him for this action and received this response:

“I was proud to introduce S. 3002 on May 26, 2016. This bipartisan bill would encourage the display of the flag each year on March 29th, National Vietnam War Veterans Day, in order to properly recognize and honor the many proud veterans who served in Vietnam.”

My copy of A Rumor of War is a re-issue in 1997, twenty years after it was first published, and the author’s thoughts as he looked back over those two decades included this:

“Vietnam was the epicenter of a cultural, social and political quake that sundered us like no other event since the Civil War …it was an anomalous chapter in our national mythology. Our self-image as a progressive, virtuous, and triumphant people exempt from the burdens and tragedies of history came apart in Vietnam, and we had no way to integrate the war or its consequences into our collective and individual consciousness.”

My feeling is we are still searching for some resolution to what happened forty years ago. We still haven’t completely recovered from the Civil War. And in its own way, Vietnam divided the country as nothing has since the Civil War. I have the greatest respect for every casualty of that conflict. I can understand the vehemence felt by those who opposed it, and I vividly recall that the Tet Offensive finally made those of us here in the United States understand this was not going to be the quick and easy conflict we had been made to believe it would be. Yet for several more years, we continued to send young men into what we understood was an “unwinnable” war.

My works-in-progress are not about the Vietnam War. They are about two men whose lives were forever altered by their time in Vietnam. As with all my novels, it is the power of music and in the case, art as well, that helps them find a way to begin to heal their wounded souls.