The Inspiration for ELI'S HEART

THE INSPIRATION FOR ELI’S HEART

Eli’s Heart was inspired by a friendship I had decades ago with a brilliant teenage pianist born with a defective heart. Samuel Sanders was fifteen when I first met him and heard him play. He was visiting a sister who lived in my hometown and he came to my house several times, and we listened to recordings of orchestral music, played piano duets (which was definitely daunting for me!), talked about books and baseball. His activities were restricted because of his congenital heart defect.

Tetralogy of Fallot, the heart condition my character Eli Levin lives with, is a complicated and frightening disease which is present at birth. Physicians have been aware of it for centuries. According to Wikipedia, “It was described in 1672 by Niels Stensen, in 1773 by Edward Sandifort, and in 1888 by the French physician Étienne-Louis Arthur Fallot, after whom it is named.”

With a lot of help from Dr. Aarti Asnani, a cardiologist with Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, I finally developed a grasp of the condition. There are four separate defects of the heart: a hole between the lower chambers (ventricles) of the heart, which means unoxygenated blood is mixing with oxygenated blood; a narrowing of the valve between the right ventricle and the lungs, which means not enough blood is getting to the lungs to be replenished with oxygen; a thickening of the wall of the right ventricle; and an aorta which is misplaced and is drawing blood from both ventricles. The result is a considerable reduction in the amount of oxygenated blood distributed to the body. The average person receives between 90 and 95% oxygenated blood. TOF patients receive sometimes less than 50%. Breathing is a struggle. Any physical activity, even walking, becomes difficult and can be life-threatening. Many children died in infancy, or did not survive puberty. Cyanosis (blue coloring of the skin, especially fingers, toes and lips) is a primary symptom.

In 1944, Drs. Alfred Blalock and Helen Taussig, with considerable help from Blalock’s assistant Vivien Thomas, developed a procedure to alleviate these children’s suffering. A shunt was created by attaching a branch of the aorta to the pulmonary artery which increased the flow of oxygenated blood. Sometimes this increase was dramatic; sometimes enough to at least ease their symptoms. From my understanding, patients who survived the procedure lived more normal and longer lives. However, the heart was not repaired. The Blalock-Taussig procedure was considered “palliative”—it eased the worst of the symptoms, but all four defects of the heart were still there.

About ten years later an open-heart surgery (called the “total correction” or “total repair”) was performed which patched the hole between the ventricles and widened the opening to the lungs, giving the patients a chance at a better quality – and quantity – of life. Over the past decades, as TOF patients have lived longer (some into their seventies and even eighties) other surgical procedures have been developed and refined, and a range of medications also exists to help treat the condition. It was at first considered a congenital heart defect. It is presently considered a congenital heart disease, a life-long struggle with a heart which can never be made “normal.” From my understanding, there is no one “standard” procedure for these patients. One comment from Dr. Asnani in our extensive correspondence stands out in my mind:

“With regard to treatment options for (adult) TOF patients, it’s definitely not a straightforward decision to pursue surgery, so we will often try to manage with medications for as long as possible.  Newer technologies like cardiac MRI are helping us figure out when the heart dysfunction is progressing to the point where heart surgery is absolutely necessary to prevent a further decline, though we’re still wrestling with defining the exact timeline.”

One of the first things Samuel Sanders told me was that he didn’t expect to live past the age of thirty. Other than that, and telling me about the cyanosis and that he’d had surgery, he didn’t discuss his condition and I didn’t ask questions. We concentrated on enjoying the time we had together.

After hearing him play – brilliantly –  the Rachmaninoff Second Piano Concerto a few months later, I lost touch with him. Some thirty years later I met a young man who was studying accompanying with Sam at Juilliard, so he’d have been in his early forties at that time. His student also told me Sanders had opted to work professionally as an accompanist rather than pursuing a career as a virtuoso pianist. I was very glad to hear he had survived past the age of thirty and was still sharing his extraordinary gift.

I thought of him again when I watched the HBO film “Something the Lord Made” (highly recommended) and wondered how he was. Internet searches revealed that he had died at the age of sixty-two. He’d had the B-T procedure when he was nine and two additional surgeries (the total correction and a heart valve replacement), and eventually not one but two heart transplants. The second one failed, sadly. While not a household name, he had a long and illustrious career as a collaborative pianist and performed with some great musicians who definitely ARE household names. I list a few of his many recordings in the discography at the end of the book.

As a teacher at both Juilliard and Peabody, and playing with many artists, Sanders had a grueling schedule for most of his adult life. I read somewhere that he played as many as 100 concerts a year. My thought is that schedule may have been what kept him going for so long. He refused to give in to his heart condition. His dedication to music made a huge difference in his case. From some of the blogs I’ve read by contemporary adult TOF patients, it seems the determination to live to the fullest despite their condition is what helps them not only survive, but thrive. I’ve also read indications of the difficulties of living with the disease: fear and anger, depression and despair, yet a great feeling of joy with every accomplishment. The human spirit is absolutely amazing. These are courageous people.

My book is fiction, and my character Eli Levin is the product of my imagination. I did not know Sam Sanders beyond that brief friendship when we were both little more than children. However, his passion for music certainly had a lasting impact on me; he was indeed an extraordinarily gifted pianist and musician. We don’t meet many musical prodigies in our lifetime, and if and when we do, we never forget them. The fact that this one also had a damaged heart made him even more unforgettable.

In the Afterword in my book I tell the reader about Sanders, and comment “What would it have been to have these two burdens, a damaged heart and a prodigious musical gift? What would it have been to share that person’s life? Hence: Eli’s Heart.”

ELI'S HEART, a novel

ELI’S HEART, A Novel

Yes, my blogs are going to be about the new book for a while. This one will be brief. The book is now in production and should be announced for sale very soon, hopefully within two weeks. It will be available on Amazon as a paperback and an e-book. I decided to go with CreateSpace, and thus far it has been a very good experience. I have to say I am glad that I’ve had experience using my computer in a much different way than most people do; digital notesetting and using a DTP program, Quark Xpress, I’m sure have been a great help in formatting the book interior myself.

Here are the basic information on the book that will appear on the back cover, and the picture of the front cover. Two very savvy and talented young men, Taylor and Tristan Flanagan, came up with the cover concept and then realized it. Taylor had the idea, Tristan took the photograph and added the title and author name. Anybody want to guess to whom those gifted hands belong?

I am very happy with the book. I hope some people will buy it; even more I hope some people will read it. Watch for giveaways and sales! One of the reasons I decided to print it with CreateSpace this time. Those of us who self-publish are also known as “indie authors.” I like that. I like that I own the copyright and have complete control of this book. Of course, there are millions of book in the vast “Amazon” book jungle; more every day. But for me it is a delight to actually see my work in print. I’m thankful I’m not trying to pay my bills this way, however.

**********

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful boy

 who was born with two things:

a damaged heart and a heart full of music.”

─ Krissy Levin

       

          In the nineteen fifties, ELI LEVIN, a brilliant teenage pianist born with a serious heart defect and not expected to live past the age of thirty, meets KRISSY PORTER on a visit to a small town in the Southeast.         

        They play piano duets, talk about baseball, eat banana splits. A budding romance is ended by interference from Eli’s family, but they find their way back to each other three years later.

        They marry on Krissy’s twentieth birthday while they are both college students. The music they share is a vital part of their life together. Once he begins his career, Eli’s rise in the music world is meteoric.

             Although they are devoted—and intensely passionate—from the beginning, the couple must struggle with never knowing when the various repairs to Eli’s heart might give out.

PREVIEW OF "ELI'S HEART"

ELI’S HEART, TAKE TWO

So this book I began writing in September is almost ready to be released. It’s taken longer than I had thought it might. I rewrote early chapters several times, at one point discarding my initial opening chapters and completely starting over. I woke up with thoughts and went immediately to the computer. More than once I woke in the wee hours of the morning and went immediately to the computer. I would be driving and a thought would come to me that I’d hold onto until I could get to the computer. It’s amazing I didn’t wreck my car a time or two! The book has always in my mind, over these past nine months plus.

Actually, other than polishing and incorporating a few recent thoughts, the book is complete. It’s been a remarkable journey. I’ve learned a great deal about a difficult and frightening congenital heart disease. I’ve listened to some wonderful music, often in a different way than I had listened to it previously. I’ve listened to some magnificent music I wasn’t aware of. I’ve made nostalgic trips back into the past. I’ve created these two people, Eli and Krissy, and grown to love them nearly as much as they love each other. They experience good times and bad times over the years. How they handle these is the essence of the story.

Yes, ELI’S HEART is a love story, but it is not a “romance” novel. In no way does it fit that genre. I can’t really find a genre for it, other than “literary fiction” … it’s about the characters and the life they share. It’s about the vital importance of music in their lives. It’s about how they deal, separately and together, with Eli’s damaged heart – a heart filled with music. I think the reader will laugh, and cry, and come to care about these people and what happens to them.

And since you are reading this blog, here’s a taste of the book. This is the “Prelude.”  I hope it makes you want to read the entire story.

FLYING HOME FROM MOSCOW

It was the final night of the Moscow International Music Competition. In the aptly named Hall of Columns, with its massive Corinthian pillars, three-tiered crystal chandeliers and plush red seats, the large audience of world-class musicians and music lovers generously applauded the Award announcements.  

The twenty-two year old American violinist Warren Anderson had just been awarded the gold medal. His accompanist, twenty-nine year old American pianist Eli Levin, then received a special award in recognition of his brilliance. It was the first time such an award had ever been presented at this event.

Eli’s wife Kristina was overwhelmed when Eli’s award was announced. The audience stood and applauded, those near Eli voicing their approval: “Well done!” “Très bien!” “Bravo!” “Pozdravlaiu!” Everyone who had heard him recognized his genius, and the judges had as well.

Eli bent to embrace his petite wife and, flushed with excitement, hurried to the stage to accept the award. Krissy watched through tears as her slender, dark-haired husband accepted a medal from the judges.When he returned to Krissy, he pressed the medal into her hands and bent down to speak to her softly: “This is for you, my sweet girl.” He held her close as she rested her face against his chest and wept for joy.

Warren, Eli, and Krissy had traveled to Moscow together. The trip was a surprise for Krissy. Warren’s sponsors had provided her ticket and Eli had arranged with Maestro Aaron Rubin, General Director of the City Opera Company for whom Krissy was Personal Assistant, to give her the more than three weeks she needed to accompany them. Eli knew his wife had always wanted to visit Russia. It meant a great deal to him to make it possible, and Krissy was thrilled.

The evening after the competition ended they were at the airport preparing for the long trip home, flying first to Paris and then to New York. They left as the sun was setting. As the Boeing 707 lifted into the air, the spires and onion domes of the city soon disappeared into the concentric circles of light surrounding the Kremlin. The sky on the horizon faded from a pale blue to a soft rose to a deep purple.

Krissy wanted to give Eli a sleeping pill but he shook his head; he was tired enough to sleep without it. They were in the first class cabin, and Warren was across the aisle from them, the Amati violin he had played positioned securely beside him. That violin, valued at over one million dollars and borrowed from a collector, had not left his side the entire trip.

Eli stretched his legs out as best he could. Krissy asked the stewardess for a blanket, and tenderly tucked it around her husband and herself. He smiled at her, rested his head on her shoulder, and soon after takeoff, he was sleeping soundly in the darkened cabin. She carefully removed his glasses and put them in her handbag.

Eli was born with a defective heart. He had received a second surgery for the condition only months earlier, and even though he had seemed tireless and energetic throughout the competition, Warren noticed on the drive to the airport that he looked exhausted. No doubt that was why Krissy wanted to be sure her husband received some needed rest on the flight.

Warren had also stretched out, and he could see Krissy’s warm brown eyes as she watched Eli sleep. She looked at him as if he were the most priceless thing on earth, a treasure almost unimaginable. He envied Eli this kind of love, a love he seldom saw even between the most devoted couples. He leaned across the aisle and said to her softly, “What are you thinking, Krissy, when you look at Eli like that?”

She said, not taking her eyes off Eli, “That I can’t believe I’m with this incredible man. That I’ve been given a gift I can’t even describe.” She gently touched his head, stroking the dark, curly hair as she so often did. She smiled at Warren.

“He’s very fortunate to have you,” Warren said. “I know he adores you. He’s told me that many times.”

Krissy looked again at her sleeping husband and kissed his temple softly. “I’m the fortunate one, Warren. I lost him, years ago, not long after I met him. Eli brought us back together. I treasure every minute I have with him.”

“Sounds to me like there’s a story behind that,” Warren said, settling back in his seat.

She smiled but didn’t reply. Indeed there is, she thought. With a noble prince who rescues a damsel in distress, a wicked queen, and a sleeping dragon. A story with an unknown ending.

THE SECRET GARDEN: Thoughts on England and India

ECHOES OF INDIA

One the musical dramas I have most appreciated and enjoyed directing is the fine piece by Lucy Simon and Marsha Norman, an adaptation of Frances Hodgson Burnett’s book The Secret Garden. I had read the book numerous times as a child and loved it.

Re-reading the book in preparation for directing the musical production made me aware of all the references to British India which I had scarcely understood, nor cared about, as a child. Watching the television series The Jewel in the Crown, a fine British production of Paul Scott’s Raj Quartet, had intrigued me to examine the history behind the British deciding this vast land mass required their governance. A film later brought me to A Passage to India, an exceptional adaptation of E. M. Forster’s wonderful novel, which I am currently reading for probably the eighth time.

No doubt there are many times in the history of world where two cultures have clashed the way the British West and the Indian East did over an extended period of time, in my opinion to the detriment of both, but I don’t know that it has happened with the amount of documentation of this fairly recent event. One thing I find most intriguing, from what I have read … and I do not in any way consider myself an expert on this subject … it seems one of the greatest problems arose when English women arrived on the scene and imposed Victorian morality. And even more intriguing was how tellingly Simon and Norman brought the British Raj into their musical.

In the musical, Mary’s memories of her early childhood in India are more than memories; the people she knew are still real to her and become real to the audience. There are dialogue scenes that point up the bigotry of the English toward their Indian servants; again, especially the English women. I admire Norman and Simon for obviously researching the period carefully. Mary is a child who is immersed in Indian lore, and it leads to a powerful, beautiful and impressive scene in the garden at Miselthwaite Manor in Yorkshire, when Mary invokes the spirits of the earth to heal her cousin Colin. It’s also an extremely challenging scene musically for the ensemble.

One of the most wonderful things about the show, in fact, is how the ensemble is used. Many times it is a Greek chorus, setting scenes and commenting on the events that are taking place. Simon has the chorus paint in sound several storms, and since weather is a vital part of life in India, at times it seems these storms are more than those that might actually take place in Yorkshire. They are storms of the human spirit as well as storms from the sky.

Reading Forster again is revelatory. He spent periods of his life in India, and seems to have truly grasped the differences in the way the Easterner and the Westerner see the world. Paul Scott also explores this in his works. The West tried to subdue the East in India. We all know what the outcome was.

I don’t consider myself a political person, but I continue to be amazed at political figures of our day who don’t seem to be able to understand this truth: the Western mindset and the Eastern mindset are totally different. I think Easterners understand this. It seems beyond the comprehension of many Westerners.

Speculation: suppose the roles had been reversed? What if India had come to Britain and taken it over? Would the Easterner have attempted to impose his world view on the Westerner?

Since I’m a musician and musical theater director, I will close by recommending any of my readers who have never listened to the music from The Secret Garden to do so. It has become one of my all-time favorite works. You will hear music from the East and West blending in this story. Thank you, Lucy and Marsha, for this incredible piece of musical theater. It was my privilege to come to know it.

Music and Words

MUSIC AND WORDS

I absolutely had a great time at my first ever book signing last weekend. Promoting HOW I GREW UP has been a gigantic learning experience. I know I’m repeating myself but people my age are allowed to do that; it’s expected. I wrote the book because I wanted to write a book, and it was a good story. No, it was a great story, actually. I think I did a good job telling it. And since I wrote it, I wanted to see it in print, and then wanted to find ways for more people to know about it and read it.

That plunged me into the wonderful world of book marketing. Yikes. I had no clue about any of this. So every step has been a new one. I did want to have a book signing, and people kept asking me when that was going to happen. I had basically “self-published,” though I did use a Print On Demand company that screens manuscripts. So any marketing I did was left up to me. I’ve since learned that “mid level authors” who sign with a major publishing house virtually have to do the same thing. Big difference, the publisher signs them to a contract, sometimes for a nice amount of money. Another big difference, that publisher owns their book. I definitely like that I own my book, and Virtual Bookworm’s fees were quite reasonable. I’ve made some return for my investment from royalties, and it’s very nice to receive those checks!

Oh, yes, back to the book signing. Since I’ve discovered my “brand” as an author is “the powerful effect of music in people’s lives,” my books have music in them. HOW I GREW UP has music from the musical drama CAROUSEL in it. A local theater, the Pocono Community Theater, was willing to accept books on consignment so people had a place to buy them. One problem with publishing as I did, “brick and mortar” bookstores don’t like to put copies of your book on their shelves because of the return policy of the P.O.D. companies (at least, some of them). In exchange for a donation to the theater if/when books were sold, they also designed and ran an onscreen promotion for the book, and had handouts about HOW I GREW UP in the lobby. It’s a great theater and very supportive of local artists.

Sorry, I keep digressing! The theater agreed to my use of the space for a book signing, and my first thought was to have a showing of the film version of CAROUSEL in conjunction with the signing. The film wasn’t available, and that turned out to be a good thing. Why not live music from the show, along with some brief readings by the author, as a special event? Much better!

So some new friends, performers from Theatrical Gems -- a new local theater group -- were kind enough to sing the songs I wanted to hear (which is some cases meant they learned the songs for me). The great young men and women from East Stroudsburg High School South who didn’t graduate last year were willing to resurrect a couple of the ensemble numbers from the show. A good friend and fine pianist, Todd Deen, was available to play for the evening.

The theater thrilled me no end when they put the name of the book on their marquee two weeks prior to the book signing, and the local newspaper contacted me for an interview. Also very cool.

The audience seemed to enjoy the night as much as I did. Started at seven, over before eight-thirty. It was great fun to sign books for people! It was fun to read some selections from the book to introduce some of the musical numbers. It was most fun for me to hear that wonderful music again, music I had been introduced to over a half-century earlier, and feel I was sharing the music with yet more people. Thanks to one of my sons and his best friend, all my expenses were covered and I was able to make it a “no charge” event.

It was interesting to go back to HOW I GREW UP and select my readings, because my head and heart have been so much in ELI’S HEART for the past eight months that I had not re-read my first book since it was released last October. I liked what I read. I also found mistakes that I had missed, even though I read and re-read that book more times than I can count. I actually spotted one as I was reading on Sunday night, but fortunately, was careful not to broadcast it to the people who were there. Well, I guess in 84,000 words, two or three mistakes isn’t too bad. There may be more I’m not aware of. Good lesson learned, go over ELI’S HEART with even more care before releasing it.

The book signing and “music and words” event was great! I’d like to do it again. I have a friend who is working on a book signing for me for fall. I should have two books by then! If anyone had told me last year on April 30 that I would write two novels in less than a year, I’m sure I would have laughed. Melanie, my heroine in HOW I GREW UP said it best: Life can certainly be strange.

SOME WORDS ABOUT MUSIC

My father was an engineer by education and profession, but when he completed college just before World War II broke out, engineering jobs were scarce. He was also a very fine musician and for several years supported his family with different music-related jobs: teaching, arranging, and performing.

As a consequence, I grew up in a home where music was always present. Dad played trumpet, and while he played jazz and big band, his greatest love was for the classics, so I heard some orchestral pieces from my earliest childhood. I couldn’t tell you when I first heard Tchaikovsky’s Sixth Symphony, or Brahms’ Fourth Symphony, or Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade.

Perhaps I inherited my dad’s passion for classical music; perhaps it was simply a part of who I am. My first instrument was a piccolo and he was my teacher. Next was piano from about the age of nine, and in high school I was fortunate enough to have a chance to learn a little about playing harp (our school owned one). I loved ballet and studied from the time I was very young. It was another way to experience music, and to express the music through movement.

Finally, I started singing, and to me that was best of all. I loved to sing. I studied with a lovely lady beginning my junior year in high school and eventually attended the College-Conservatory of Music in Cincinnati as a vocal performance major. Those were some of the best years of my life, even though I quickly understood that my dream of singing opera was exactly that, a dream. As much as I loved to sing, I was not “a singer.” So I married a tenor who was a singer, and who sang professionally for several years before deciding the difficulties of that life were not for him. He continued to sing, sometimes volunteering his talent, occasionally on a professional basis, for the rest of his life.

Much to my surprise, he suggested I open a private voice studio. I had maintained some piano skills and I had continued to sing, mainly in church choirs. So I quickly stepped through the door he had opened for me and discovered what I do best. Since my voice had been small and it required considerable understanding of vocal technique for me to use it well, I had a wealth of tools with which to assist my students to unlock their voices. And it became quickly apparent that the more I taught, the more I learned. Each voice is unique, each requires special attention. And the voice is connected closely to the psyche, to the emotions of the singer. My gift is to connect with my students in such a way that they trust me to lead them on a path that guides them to the place where they can begin to make music.

Another opportunity presented itself soon after I opened my studio in 1979. A few years later I began directing musical theater productions for a local community theater, and eventually for two different high schools. These two activities, teaching and directing, were exciting and fulfilling, and after all these years I continue to teach and direct.

Last year, at a surprising time in my life, I began to write. I write about what I know and love best: music. First a book about a musical theater production that helps heal a young girl, How I Grew Up. And now I have nearly completed a longer, more complex book, about a young couple whose life is music, but is shadowed by the serious heart defect the young man has suffered since birth. Along with the challenge of finally understanding and explaining the particular heart defect, it was important to include music that was meaningful to my characters Eli and Krissy. And how and why it was meaningful. I have included descriptions of this music, hoping to inspire the reader to perhaps listen to at least some of it.

Since I am not by any stretch of the imagination a pianist (I can still struggle through song accompaniments … some song accompaniments), it was immensely helpful to discuss several passages in the book with my good friend and musical near-genius pianist (who also has an unparalleled zest for life), Scott Besser. Scott made in particular one observation that saved me for omitting a vital part of Eli’s character … what he felt when he played. I know why I sing, and I knew why Eli played, but I had nowhere specifically included his emotional, his visceral reaction to playing. Scott read several sections of the book, made suggestions and gave me some important thoughts and allowed me to use some of these. I appreciate his contribution to this book more than I can say.

And since Eli’s choice is a career as an assisting artist, he collaborates in particular with a violinist. Now, violin is a huge mystery to me, though I love to listen to string music. So another near-genius musician friend, violinist and sometimes world traveler Chris Souza, led me to a piece of music I had never heard but which has become a favorite, the Franck Sonata in A Major for violin and piano. I had asked for a piece that features both instruments on an equal basis, and this piece certainly does. Chris suggested why this is true, and was kind enough to allow me to include one of his comments in my description. I have this piece in my head a lot these days! Major earworm.

Eli’s Heart is not a musical treatise, it is a love story, but music is at the heart of that love. Why that is true is an important part of this story. Scott and Chris are among the many musicians I’ve been privileged to call friends. Music is meant to be heard, to be shared, to be a gift to the listener and the performer alike. The best musicians are generous with the love, the passion, we share for the art.

In a conversation with his best friend, Eli says: “I don’t do what I do for the applause, Jackie. I do it for the music.” -- Eli's Heart

Word for the Day: Choices

CHOICES

It’s been my good fortune to have spent much of my adult life working as a teacher, stage director, and sometimes mentor to young adults. I prefer that term to “teenager,” because yes, they are in their teen years, but they are working hard to become adults. And it’s a difficult job, as I well remember.

Looking back over a long life, I recall how I struggled with growing up. I really would have preferred to stay a little girl, safe and secure in a very stable family, but that was not a choice I could make. Life doesn’t work that way. Many of my young adult friends are at a time in their lives when they are making decisions about college … whether to attend, what college to attend, what field of study to choose. I know I had a difficult time with that. Music had always been part of my life and it seemed logical I would continue with it in college. I also had a great love of history, and still do, and that field appealed to me as well.

I sometimes tell my voice students that “you don’t choose music; music chooses you,” and that may very well be true. It seems to be a passion we are born with, and it won’t be denied. In the end, that was my “choice” and music has been my life ever since. I feel very fortunate this is true, because I see music as the most powerful force in the universe. Attending the College-Conservatory of Music in Cincinnati was a choice I made. I had visited other schools, but this one appealed to me as no other had.

All of us are constantly faced with choices. I’m sure all of us look back and think given the opportunity, we might choose differently than we did at the time. All of us have made good choices and bad choices. We wouldn’t be human if we hadn’t. I recall reading not too long ago something to the effect: “the moment of absolute certainty seldom comes. Make the choice and move forward.” No doubt, good advice; but some bad choices are difficult to live with.

Whatever choice you made, it was your choice. Chances are you weren’t forced to choose one way or the other. More important is to accept that you made the choice, and it’s your responsibility to make the best of it. Sadly, some people today don’t want to do that … “it wasn’t my fault.” Are you sure about that? If you choose to blame someone for a bad choice you made, does that mean you will give credit to another person for a good choice you made? We are responsible for ourselves in this life.

Sometimes circumstances are thrust upon us that we have no control over: someone we love dies; we are in a terrible accident and lose a limb. Or our vision. Or our hearing. No one would choose for these things to happen. The choice in these instances is how we deal with these tragedies. From time to time I see a quote that I like very much: When something bad happens, you can choose to do one of three things … let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.

It’s easy to look back and say, “If I had known then what I know now, I would have handled that differently. I would have made a different choice.” Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way, either. Those are lessons learned: sometimes very difficult lessons. But I choose to believe that is why we are here – to learn.  

Back to my young adult friends who are faced with an important choice during their senior year in high school. This is the first of many life choices they will have facing them. Make the choice, and then choose to try and make it work. Try your hardest. Never stop trying, and never stop learning.