Mending Fences

In my novel Jamie’s Children, Niall Logan’s bipolar disorder disrupts his life and affects the people who love him and want to help him in any way they can. The disease is difficult to diagnose, and in many cases ─ as in Niall’s ─ the patient resists seeking help for numerous reasons.

Niall’s sister Laura has been his best friend as well as his loving older sibling from their earliest years, and she does everything she can for him. As often happens with this disease, though, he lashes out at her and then doesn’t see her for months. When he is finally receiving treatment, she goes to visit him at the clinic where he is finally receiving treatment.

Here’s an excerpt from early in the book:

****** 

     She hadn’t seen her brother in months and wasn’t sure what to expect. He smiled when he walked in. She went to him and put her arms around him. He was too thin and he looked pale to her, and she didn’t like the smudgy circles she saw under his eyes.

     “Hey, Roger,” she said, using his middle name. It was their private joke: both had been given their maternal grandparents’ first names as their middle names.

     “How’s it goin’, Ruth?” He stepped back and grinned at her, and she saw in his eyes a glimmer that told her he was there; he’d leveled off.

     They sat together on a sofa. He sighed and relaxed. “This had to happen. I’ve been crazy for way too long.”

     “I should have done more to help you,” she said.

     “Nobody could help me until I acknowledged I was sick.” He took her hand. “You tried plenty. You tried pretty much everything you could.” He smiled wryly. “I didn’t want to hear any of it. I liked being crazy when I was up.”

     “Yes, you did. Mom says that’s the way this disease … what’s the word she uses? … ‘presents’ itself.”

     “Yeah. Mania. It’s beautiful, Laura. The problem is, sooner or later you crash, and you don’t even want to be here anymore.” She saw the haunted look in his eyes.

     “You can smoke if you want.”

     “I would, but lithium makes cigarettes taste like shit.” He gave a short laugh. “I’m told it’s going to take my body a while to adjust to the drug. Not a whole lot of fun.”

     “I’m sure.”

     He ran his fingers through his hair. “Here’s my goal, big sister. I want to come and hear you play Brahms with the Sinfonia. I want to be out of here before that concert.”

      She was touched. “I can’t imagine playing it without you being there.”

    There was an easy, comfortable silence between them. “I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. Put all the people I love through. I wish it had never happened.”

    “You’re sick, Niall. You didn’t do any of it on purpose, we all know that.”

    “Well, I could have reached out for help sooner.”

    Laura was thoughtful. “You know what I believe?  Things happen when they’re meant to happen.”

   “Well, that’s new.” He looked closely at her. “Sounds like something Dad would say. There’s a little bit of the mystic about him – comes from being part Irish, maybe?”

     Niall’s eyes shone as he added, “He came to see me yesterday. Flew all the way from Milan right in the middle of his run of Aida just to spend a couple of hours with me.”

     “I would expect nothing less from him. I can tell it meant a lot to you, though.”

     “It sure did. Just like it means a lot that you’re here now.” He grinned at her again. “Has it ‘happened’ that a man has come into your life recently?”

     She punched him lightly on the arm, but felt color rise in her face. “Now what makes you ask that?”

     “You look extremely pretty tonight. New dress? New hair style? What?”

     “Both. But I did them for me, not for … anyone else.”

     Now he was teasing. “C’mon, tell. You know you tell me everything. Who is this guy?”

     “It’s just a friendship, Niall. He’s the pianist I’m working with now.” She knew she was blushing.

     “How old is he?” It didn’t surprise her that he would ask. As a teenager, she’d had crushes on older men more than once and thought herself hopelessly in love. Then she went through a period of several years when she swore off men, period. She was too busy perfecting her violin technique to bother with them.

     “Actually, you’ll be very surprised to hear that he’s two years younger than you.”

     “He’s twenty-three? Holy shit. Laura the cradle-robber. I can’t believe it.” He laughed heartily.

     “He’s a lot more mature than you are. In fact, he’s more mature than I am. He’s … well, he’s really something.” She dropped all pretense and warmed to the subject. “His name is Leon Weiss, and he completed his master’s last year at Juilliard. He’s teaching there now and is a fine collaborative pianist.” She took both Niall’s hands.

     “I’m not here to talk about me, Roger. I know I’m not allowed to stay long. Is there anything you need? Anything I can bring you? I’m sure Bonnie and Mom see you whenever they can, but if you need anything at all, or just want to talk, will you call me? It’s really not a bad train ride.”

     He grinned. “I’d like to hear more about Leon the Wise. It’s great you finally have an age-appropriate man in your life, Ruth.” She punched him again, this time on the shoulder.

     “I’d say the lithium is a good thing. You’re acting like the snotty little brother you always were.”

     A nurse approached them and said to Laura, “I’m sorry, Miss Logan. Niall needs to be back in his room in just a few minutes, but I can tell your visit has been good for him. Please come back when you can.”

     She walked away and Laura said, “She seems nice.”

     “She’s okay. A little firm sometimes, but she’s no Nurse Ratched.”

      Laura’s eyebrows went up. “Niall … are things okay here?”

     He laughed again. “Just kidding. This is no ‘Cuckoo’s Nest,’ honey. Good folks run this operation. They really care about us crazies.”

   They stood and embraced. Laura found herself close to tears. She wanted to spend more time with him. “I wish I could stay longer. I should have been here sooner.”

     “Stop it, Laura. You’ve always been my life line. You’ve bailed me out so many times over the past few years. Mom and Bonnie needed to get me in here, and Mom knew just who to call.”

     He hugged her again. “Tell that guy Leon he’d better treat you right.”

     She laughed and wiped her eyes. “I’ll give him the message. I’ll be back this weekend.”

     “I’d like that.” He put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her levelly. “I’m going to be okay, sis. Finally. I’m going to get better.”

    “I know you will,” she replied. She walked away and turned back to wave, leaving a piece of her heart with him. He looked very young and a little lost.

     Be well, Niall. Please, be well.

Jamie's Children is available on Amazon, paperback and e-book. Please visit my website at www.susanmoorejordan.com for links to all my books.

cover by Tristan Flanagan

JAMIE'S CHILDREN: The Healing Power of Music

In Jamie’s Children, Jamie Logan’s son Niall is eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. From everything I have read the “eventual” diagnosis is not unusual. Bipolar disorder can present in different ways and until the person with the condition begins to experience regular manic and depressive episodes, it’s easy to miss.

I am so appreciative of a review published this morning, September 6, by author Sahar R. Abdulaziz. An advocate for the victims of domestic abuse and the disenfranchised, Abdulaziz holds degrees in psychology and health and wellness promotion and administration. She addresses Niall’s bipolar illness in some detail in her review, which has been published on Amazon and Goodreads as well as on her blog: http://www.saharraziz.com/single-post/2016/09/06/Book-Review-Jamies-Children-by-Susan-Moore-Jordan

Below is an excerpt :

The story exquisitely expounded on quite a few intimate human relationships. Mother-father-brother-sister-lovers alike. It explored the strength and bonds needed to nurture a family as well as the frailties and disappointments of interpersonal relationships facing obstacles and hurdles, such as depression, loneliness, insecurities, jealousy, but most of all, the erratic behavior and thought patterns of someone in the midst of battling a Bipolar Disorder.

In the story, Niall found himself facing the many highs and lows of countless bipolar flares, but unfortunately, he went through most of his life undiagnosed. And like so many suffering from easily concealed mood disorders he blamed himself for the disease process. Living among a household of super achievers only served to exacerbate Niall’s feelings of mediocrity and his constant desire to prove himself. –A father whose very name made hearts flutter in the opera world, a mother of exceptional intellect, and a stunningly beautiful and kind sister who was a music prodigy. And despite the way they loved and rallied in his favor, the Bipolar disease still made accepting help and direction extremely difficult, –and at times, even impossible.

Yet this author did something I believe to be quite extraordinary. Not only did she show in detail how Niall, desperate for relief began to self-medicate using alcohol and sexual liaisons, but she bravely revealed to the reader not only the lows of suffering with a mood disorder, but the highs as well, –Because as strange as it might seem, there is a positive side of living with depression or an anxiety disorder.

… In the story, Laura, Niall’s sister, quoted her friend and mentor, Eli Levin to describe the level of impact music can have on the soul, “… ‘It wasn’t unusual to sometimes have a bad day and feel I couldn’t play at all …he said,  ‘One of the things that makes music so exciting is that we’ve all had to struggle at times. Because the breakthroughs are so glorious.’ And he was right.”

… Jamie’s Children is a tender story of familial love, commitment, and respect. The author’s lovely melodic writing style gently nudges one along the story path, while enveloping their heart with wisdom and grace, –a most pleasurable read.

**********

Jamie’s Children, Kindle edition, is currently available on Amazon for $0.99. The sale ends at 11 a.m. on September 8.

https://www.amazon.com/Jamies-Children-Susan-Moore-Jordan-ebook/dp/B01IA6FEA6/

 cover design by Tristan Flanagan

JAMIE’S CHILDREN: Niall’s World

In my new novel, Jamie’s Children, Niall Logan eventually finds his music and works toward a career as a singer-songwriter. Niall has a challenge that will take every ounce of courage he possesses to face: he is bipolar.

Writing about Niall’s disease was undoubtedly the most difficult task I have given myself to date. Yes, Eli Levin had a broken heart, literally. Being born with a severely defective heart which can never be made “normal” meant his life was of necessity different. Being a pianist with a huge gift and dealing with both those burdens was daunting. And certainly, Eli’s physical illness affected his emotional life; how could it not?

But Niall seemed perfectly healthy. He was a pleasant, easy-going youngster, well-liked by everyone. His earliest symptoms were bouts of severe depression. When he had his first manic episode, he didn’t realize what was happening. He went into remission for over a year. 

Bipolar disorder is disruptive; for a while, it can come and go (and every case seems to be unique). In Niall's case, the manic and depressive episodes became more frequent and more pronounced, and his life was turned upside down. If the cycle isn't broken the disease can be fatal, because the sufferer sometimes takes his own life. 

At present, bipolar disorder is treatable but not curable. Medications have to be adjusted. The patient sometimes stops medication and other treatment because the lure of the manic periods is so strong. In Niall’s case, he was also in denial about his condition. Who wants to be crazy?

Jamie’s Children, released on July 11, already has some good reviews. Niall’s sister Laura, child prodigy violinist, has her share of problems also. Here are some excerpts:

─ Jamie’s children may have inherited artistry along with their famous name, but powerful struggles seem to stand between them and any kind of fulfillment, with Niall battling a crippling and sometimes terrifying mental illness and Laura gaining a reputation as the Ice Princess as she obsessively pursues musical perfection on her violin.

─ The story opens as the musically talented son of a well known opera singer crashes under the weight of a debilitating mental health disorder. What follows is a powerful story about the dynamics of an emotionally unbalanced family and the power that music holds over them.

─ Jamie’s Children is a marvelous story of love, loss, adventure, and hope in which author Susan Moore Jordan paints a diverse cast of nuanced, relatable, and real characters. I came to love Niall and Laura — Jamie’s Children — within the first few chapters as they wrestled with a search for meaning in their lives.

Available on Amazon, paperback and Kindle. Here’s the link:

https://www.amazon.com/Jamies-Children-Susan-Moore-Jordan/dp/1533512922/

Getting Inside a Character’s Head

#Writerproblems

My character Eli Levin is a prodigiously gifted pianist born with a complicated and frightening congenital heart condition. My character Niall Logan, aspiring singer-songwriter, is tormented by bipolar disorder.

As a person who has enjoyed good health for my entire long life, trying to understand what these two young men had to endure was not easy. If I want my reader to care about a character, I have to make them real to myself first in order to give them a voice which will then bring them to life for the reader. I write what’s generally considered “literary fiction.” That doesn’t mean I consider myself on a par with the great classic novelists of the past. It means that my stories are primarily in-depth character studies which follow a protagonist through the challenges life hands them.

In Eli’s Heart, my character Eli Levin was inspired by a real life musician, the late great pianist Samuel Sanders. I had a friendship with Sam one summer when I was fifteen and he had just turned sixteen. I was awed by his enormous talent, didn’t truly understand his excruciating health problems, and lost touch with him after we had corresponded for a few months. I met a young pianist some thirty years later who was studying with him at Juilliard. Since the only time Sam had discussed his heart condition with me was to tell me almost casually that he wasn’t expected to live past the age of thirty, I was happy to learn he was still with us in his mid-forties.

When the fine made-for-television movie Something the Lord Made appeared on HBO in the early part of this century, seeing it helped me understand better what Sam’s condition – Tetralogy of Fallot – entailed. I had been told by his student that he was accompanying the iconic violinist Itzhak Perlman, but when I looked Sam up on the Internet I was even more in awe of the magnificence of his career and the sacrifices he had made. Rather than dying at thirty, Sam lived to the age of nearly 62, burdened and struggling with his heart condition for most of that time.

Niall Logan, one of the protagonists in my work in progress Jamie’s Children, is completely a creation of my imagination. I chose to give him, instead of a life-long physical difficulty, an illness of the mind that he would have to learn to live with in order to have a productive and fulfilling life in his chosen field of music. I began researching Niall’s illness a year and a half ago, and it took a good year before I felt I had some sense of what people with bipolar disorder experience.

While a person with a physical disability is usually viewed sympathetically, one with a mental illness is even today considered very differently. Niall’s girlfriend Bonnie has parents who encourage her to leave him. Her father warns: “Don’t let him pull you down his rabbit hole!” Fortunately for Niall, Bonnie perseveres and her love and that of his family are important to Niall learning to live with his disease but to try to not allow it to define him. The challenges include societal confusion about mental illness. We like to think we’ve come a long way … and probably that is true … but we have much further to go. Niall has a difficult time accepting his illness, which is not unusual and is completely understandable. Nobody likes to admit that he’s crazy. But until he does, and seeks help, he is wandering in a world of confusion.

Without the assistance of medically knowledgeable people I would never have been able to attempt to write about either of these conditions. Research on the internet, books which were recommended to me (especially about bipolar disorder), reading online blogs written by both people who suffered both these conditions and those who love them, were all important. For both books, I had medical people who were very generous with their time and expertise to help me write believably about Eli’s awful heart condition, and Niall’s frightening journey.

Recently I spoke to a friend who suffers from a chronic and sometimes severe condition who mentioned people take their good health for granted. I used to. No more. I am very, very grateful for it. What I hope people take away from Jamie’s Children is a better understanding of bipolar disorder. And a realization that the person with BPD has to endure something most of us can never really understand.

Eli's Heart is available on Amazon in paperback and e-book.

Jamie's Children is scheduled for release this summer.

Please visit my website: www.susanmoorejordan.com to learn more.

Musings of an Indie Author

Bits and Pieces

So I had a nice surprise this morning when I received an e-mail from the music librarian at the University of Cincinnati library. We’ve been corresponding for a while now, and it’s his responsibility to keep track of “U.C. Authors” – of which I am one, by virtue of my three years as a student at the College-Conservatory of Music from 1955-1958. Paul Cauthen was nice enough to mention me in the library’s blog and give a plug to my most recent and only non-fiction book, “More Fog, Please.” There’s a link from that link to all my books which are listed at the library, and they have two physical copies of each … one has been archived, the other is available for circulation. I would love for more people who are contemporaries of mine to know about in particular Eli’s Heart, since about two-thirds of that book takes place on the old CCM campus in Mt. Auburn. The student uprising on campus in 1956 actually happened. Maybe this will help!

http://libapps.libraries.uc.edu/liblog/2016/04/new-book-by-ccm-alumna-susan-moore-jordan/

**********

I am currently waiting to hear from two more Beta readers about their reaction to my work in progress, my fourth novel entitled Jamie’s Children. It’s great to have had two positive responses from the men who volunteered to read the book. I’m taking more time with this one. Basically, I had to … my character Niall Logan is bipolar, and trying to get inside his head took a lot of research. He also aspires to be a singer-songwriter, more research about a genre I knew very little about. And yet more research: Niall’s sister Laura is a virtuoso violinist. Though I was familiar with some of the literature, I’d never even held a violin. I’ve had great assistance with all three of these fields from some terrific friends, reinforcing how important networking is to an author.

**********

One of my Beta readers requested a little more about Jamie Logan, the famous father to Laura and Niall, and his reaction to Niall’s illness. Happy to oblige, so here’s a sneak peek at Jamie’s Children.

**********

Deep into practicing the Brahms concerto, feeling herself one with the music, Laura was annoyed when the buzzer in her apartment sounded and she almost ignored it. Her concentration broken, she went to the intercom and asked rather crisply: “Who is it?”

     “It’s Niall.”

     “Niall! Come on up!” She was thrilled to hear his voice. She hadn’t seen him since Bonnie had gone to Hunter Mountain and brought him back to the city. Bonnie had talked with her and with Meredith and Jamie, explaining Niall wasn’t ready to see them yet. Not at Thanksgiving. 

     Not even at Christmas.

**********

     It had been strained and strange, just herself and her parents trying to somehow capture the joy of the season. They were all recalling the Christmas two years earlier with Jack, when they had filled the house with music. This year a recording was playing of Vaughan Willaims’ Hodie – a work Jamie was to perform the following year with the New York Philharmonic. There were some half-hearted attempts at discussions about the music, but these trailed off into silence.

     Jamie especially had struggled with Niall’s absence, and he finally said, “It’s my fault. I should have been more … I’m not even sure what. I should have talked to him more.”

     “No, Dad, it’s not you at all. It’s Niall’s disease, and all the talking in the world probably won’t be much good to him until he’s ready to reach out for help.”

     “I knew he was depressed sometimes. I’d experienced that myself, more than once.”

     “Jamie, you never suffered the kind of depression Niall has,” Meredith told her husband. “You may have come close once … but with manic-depression, the lows are something none of us can really understand.”

     “Still, I should have done something more. I should have been more supportive. Niall is … well, there’s a lot of me in him. We want everything to be … we want … we want life to be perfect for the people we love. And I know that’s impossible, but I still feel it.” He looked at them, the pain he was feeling clearly reflected in his eyes.

     Both Meredith and Laura put their arms around him. The music had stopped, and for a few moments the only sound was the ticking of the clock on the fireplace mantle.

**********

     Another month had passed and still nothing. She knew her parents were very worried, but they were all relieved he was with Bonnie. She’d keep him safe. That was the operative word these days: they all wanted Niall safe. Bonnie assured them he hadn’t been drinking, but he was struggling with depression. And now, finally, he was at her door.

Jamie's Children

Sibling Non-rivalry?

Family dynamics are never simple. They can be complicated and even convoluted. I’ve been working on a book for some months now about a brother and sister, children of a highly successful opera singer, tenor Jamie Logan.

Laura, the older child, is a violin prodigy who begins a career at the age of nineteen. To call her an overachiever is an understatement, to say the least. Discovered at four to have this huge talent, Laura is driven to perfect it and to become the best in the world. She finishes high school early and graduates from Juilliard in three years, and during her final year at Juilliard wins the prestigious Queen Elisabeth competition.

Niall, her junior by not quite two years, is a placid, pleasant child who seems fine with being in his sister’s shadow. But in truth, those shadows contain more than anyone realizes. Niall’s real troubles begin when he is twenty-two. He begins to display symptoms of bipolar disorder. And sadly, this happens just as he is beginning to have a sense of who he is and what he can be as an artist in his own right.

Growing up in the fifties in a small town in East Tennessee, Jamie Logan was the “boy-next-door” personified. But he had a gift ─ an unusually beautiful tenor voice and the potential to take that voice and develop it. Every knowledgeable person who heard him sing encouraged him to consider pursuing a career in opera. His voice teacher at the state university he attended told Jamie he had “the whole package” – not just the voice, but innate musicianship, an ability to learn quickly, an ease with languages, unusual acting skills, and one thing more – he was blessed with physical beauty.

He was also plagued with self-doubt and lack of confidence. His first marriage ─ to his high school sweetheart ─ failed, shattering his belief in himself. Until he found a woman he could love and trust, Jamie’s demons plagued him periodically. Family crises threatened to stall his career. He was not prepared for the jealousy and rivalry he experienced.

The final element for most performers is luck, and Jamie eventually had his share of that. It’s a sad but true fact of life in opera world, and it’s also sad but true that the best singers don’t always get the breaks. But Jamie’s trajectory, while convoluted at times, is basically upward, and he achieved success. He became a star.

So what does that mean for Laura and Niall? Jamie’s family is at least as important to him as his career. He spends as much time with his children as he can, though the demands of his career sometimes make that difficult. How do they see him? How do they see themselves in relation to this loving father who is also a major figure in the world of opera?

Children of famous parents are fascinating … whether real or literary. Look for Jamie’s Children, hopefully sometime this coming spring. As soon as Niall and Laura finish telling me their stories!

In the meantime, you may enjoy reading Jamie’s story

in You Are My Song.

On Amazon, paperback or e-book.

http://tinyurl.com/jkj5lq7

cover by Tristan Flanagan

Remembering the Lost and Wounded

Thoughts

 Our local paper, The Pocono Record, runs a column on Sundays entitled “Yesterday” which provides a look into the past by means of news items from bygone days. One item which appeared yesterday was originally published on Saturday, Dec. 26, 1903:

• “For time past Robert Smith, of Sterling, and known in Barrett and Coolbaugh townships, a veteran of the sixties, has been acting queerly and at times was quite ‘off his base,’ so to speak, and on Saturday he was taken to Honesdale for examination so that the necessary papers could be executed and he could be taken to some asylum.”

Since one of the protagonists in the book I am currently at work on is bipolar, I found this an intriguing entry which made me pause and think about Mr. Robert Smith, apparently a veteran of the Civil War. Wounded, undoubtedly; perhaps not physically, but wounded in spirit. In need of help which he never received, because those wounds weren’t recognized in that long ago time.

“… so that the necessary papers could be executed and he could be taken to some asylum.” I remember the Tennessee Williams play from which was made a gripping film, Suddenly, Last Summer. I remember One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, an extraordinary book made into an equally gripping film. Civil War veteran Robert Smith’s admission was quite probably to an asylum in that mold.

Those asylums were all shut down (Deinstitutionalization, it was called) some seventy years after Robert Smith’s admission to one. A mixed blessing. Many people who were still deeply disturbed were released into the general population. I’ve read it’s possible that as many as a third of the homeless people in this country are desperately in need of psychiatric help.

 I’ve been researching my w.i.p., working title Jamie’s Children, for over a year with help from my friend Dr. Andrew Rennekamp, a research Ph.D. at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. Dr. Andrew is working towards finding alternative treatments for mental illnesses, including bipolar disorder. He’s helping me to understand my character Niall Logan, a sweet boy, a troubled young man, a man with a terrible disease he has to learn to live with. There is no cure.

Niall is always in my head. That’s part of being a writer … it’s not a nine to five gig. It’s always there. Yesterday morning I woke up at three a.m. and realized something vital about another character in the book, Niall’s steadfast girlfriend, Bonnie. Why she was so devoted to him. I knew it had to be more than that she was deeply in love with him.

Who knows where inspiration comes from? I like to think my characters tell me these things. And in a way, they do; they become completely real to me. Bonnie told me about a troubling experience she had with a high school friend who suffered from clinical depression. It came to a bad end. She never wanted that to happen to Niall.

Niall is fortunate in that his family has money, that he is loved, that he receives help in a facility where the professionals are competent and caring. But for every Niall Logan who has access to this kind of assistance … how many Robert Smiths are out there, who desperately need help they never receive? How many people with mental illnesses go undiagnosed, or untreated, or both?

So at this time of year, when families celebrate being together if they are able; I’m also thinking of those people who cannot, who for one reason or another are estranged from those they love. I’ve already learned a lot by working on this book. I also know that I will always do what I can to make people aware of mental illness; and bipolar disorder in particular.

It’s much more common than we know – or than we want to admit. More often, we still prefer to look the other way. It’s a lifelong battle. Those who fight it are courageous people who deserve our compassion, and even more, our respect.

Broadening Horizons

Jamie’s Children

In my upcoming book, working title Jamie’s Children, I follow the stories of a brother and sister whose lives take very different paths. Their father, Jamie Logan, is an opera singer. His daughter, Laura, is discovered at the age of four to be a prodigiously gifted violinist. Laura’s brother Niall, younger by not quite two years, says at one point in the story: “Laura touched a violin at the age of four and the heavens opened up and announced what her life would be.” Niall battles the demons of bipolar disorder as he tries to understand who he is and how he fits into this family which is defined by music.

I’ve set myself quite a challenge with these two characters. In Eli’s Heart, Eli Levin was a prodigy, an immensely gifted pianist with a frightening congenital heart disorder, Tetralogy of Fallot. While I don’t consider myself a pianist, I spent many years studying piano and learned enough to be aware of the talent and dedication necessary for a career as a pianist.  And as a singer, I learned to appreciate the special skills required by a good accompanist. Eli Levin became a great accompanist. This was territory I entered fairly comfortably.

Laura plays violin. While I love the sound of the instrument, I’ve never played one. Fortunately, among my good friends I count a fine violinist, Chris Souza, who is my “go to” person for questions about the world of string music. Laura has isolated herself because of her genius, despite her family’s best efforts. She has to work through her own emotional problems to try to free herself from her self-imposed ivory tower.

Niall plays acoustic guitar, another instrument I know little about. I am learning what an aspiring folk singer needs to do to break into the field, thanks to a former voice student. Nate Taylor is in the process of doing what Niall thinks he might like to try, and Nate has generously shared some of his experiences with me. (He’s very good, by the way, and I’m going to include his website so you can hear Nate's music ─ http://www.ntaylormusic.com). As a classical musician, it’s good for me to broaden my horizons with this music, and I’m listening to a lot of great folk artists these days.

The most difficult task of all is trying to gain an understanding of Niall’s terrible burden of bipolar disorder. To write a character, I have to know him. I have to be able to get inside his head. Niall’s bouts of mania and depression are something I thankfully have never experienced.

Writing about Niall’s first manic experience wasn’t easy, and will no doubt be rewritten, possibly more than once. It’s difficult to understand how Niall’s mind works because it doesn’t work at all the way mine does. Whether Niall’s music will help him live the kind of life he wants remains to be seen. My belief is that music is a powerful force in our lives; indeed, in the universe.

It was invaluable to have a cardiologist as my guide when writing about Eli Levin’s heart disease. For Jamie’s Children I’m fortunate to have a young friend who is a medical researcher at Massachusetts General Hospital whose specialty is mental illness, bipolar disorder in particular. Dr. Andrew Rennekamp has provided me with a wealth of information about the condition.

Bipolar disorder presents in many ways, and it often goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years. Medication is just one part of treatment ─ therapy, the support of friends and family, and the patient’s strength of will all must combine to make a productive and happy life even a possibility. 

People with bipolar disorder are suffering from a life-threatening illness. Far too many of them become overwhelmed and end their own lives. Somehow, we have to find a way to make that stop. It’s heartening to know there are researchers like Dr. Andrew who are working hard to provide more answers and more help.

           

While you’re waiting to read more about Niall and Laura, you can

 meet their parents in the third book of my Carousel Trilogy.

You Are My Song is about Jamie Logan’s journey in the world of opera

and the professional and personal challenges he must face along his way.
Here's the link to the book: tinyurl.com/p743ru9

www.susanmoorejordan.com

Nate Taylor

photo by Lauren Peters-Collaer